Thursday, July 23, 2009
My last blog talked about living on a friends farm. Soo if you havent figured it out that "friend" is danny. I am enjoying getting to know him better every day. Heres just a little about him: He loves God. This is shown by the way he treats people, even strangers. We picked up a hitchiker and Danny took this opportunity to invite him to church and share that hes a christian. The hiker Rick said he would be at church sunday. A beautiful picture of God working through somene. Danny makes me laugh like I am 6 years old again. My cheeks hurt. He is not afraid to make fun of how I laugh so hard I dont make a sound, How i get stuck on the driveway way to often and my accent. The other day I said the word "poor" and he actually had no idea what I was trying to say. He has done some colledge for electrican work and did that for a while and is now working on the dairy farm. He is the definition of a farm boy. I have really fallen for him, and as much as I never want to rush a relationship something just feels right about him. I wake up every morning so happy as I know its one more day with him. I thank God for him often. Our personalities are like an oreo. Different, but good together.
I think if its Gods will, the relationship will work despite the long distance. This is not a two person relationship but a three person, with God being central .I pray that myself and Danny will continue to help each other know Jesus better and that in choosing to date we know that God is more important then each other.
Im writign this now as he is just finishing milking the cows. In the mornings I help teach the calves to feed and we hang out in the evenings. Yesterday we watched the stars, the night before we went to natural hot pools. We have done some sight seeing and somtimes go for a dirtbike. thats my favorite. We said we would not do a countdown but I not-so-secretly do. I have seven days to learn about danny before I take the long trip home. Cant wait to see you all. He'll be doing the same trip in December;)
love ols
Saturday, July 4, 2009
ah canada sure sounds nice right now. chilly here at night but the days are nice. tonights my last night in a warm bed before ill be sleeping in my car while traveling. me and naomi are trying to travel cheap so we made sure to be the last ones at school so we could collect all the leftover food. suprising what people leave. canned apricots (which are delicious), much penut butter, some pesto sauce, 2 onions, and mushroom soup in these strange zip lock bags. sounds like we'll be eating well. i also took my last shower for a while tonight. on sunday we will find a church that we have never been to. we'll walk in just as we are. possibly looking like we have been living in a car. nay's hair dreads very quickly so that always adds to the homeless look. probably sit in the back and see how people perseve us. good way to see where peoples hearts are. I hope everyone else is wearing their sunday bests. smelling of sweet roses and vanilla. after that ill go to a farm in tauraranga, a very nice part of new zealand.. its a dairy farm and kiwi orchard. they milk three times a day, 5am, 11 am and 5 pm i think. i got to see it last weekend and had my first kiwi fruit fight. when thrown hard they hurt even when rotten. i love waking up on a farm. I sit on the window sill and there are cows everywhere. My friend taught me which are "good looking cows" and the not so good lookers. Im not very good at deciding yet. beyond the cows are pretty hills, perfect padocks. its just lovely. So yup, when Im there I will work maybe 4 ish days a week and on days off i have plenty to do. I got a hold of these amazing work books. I met these missionaries that got too old to serve in ethiopia so now they create these bible studies and send them to third world countries as well as prisions or anyone else who may want them. there is a work book for each book of the bible but I only got 17 or something.. Im kind of tired about talking about my "feelings" from capernwray so what I love about the work books is that it helps to gain bible knowledge. the answers are in the bible passages. I learn well from writing things out so im really excited to work on them. hmm what else do i have planned..
-keep learning guitar
-photography
-find an old folks home
-bicycle
-make dinner for farm friend
-read . did you know a majority of our spiritual growth comes from reading? id throw out a percent but it sounds too high to belive. did you know that 80% of statistics are made up.
and then I come home. whoa. weird hey. I dropped off a good friend calvin at the airport last week and it was tough. we had all done our goodbyes and then suddenly saw them again. i yelled a finial goodbye across the airport. it was much louder then anticipated but I did not care. so sad. I hate goodbyes. we need more hellos. it will be very hard for me to leave this place. im not sure if NZ is done with me yet. Its so weird cuz i never cried when I said goodbye to the capernwray students. I tried to as I stood their being the only one with dry eyes but I knew a forced cry would be too fake to believe. it would just be pouty sounds. But i defintaly choked up saying goodbye to the church people that Ive grown so close to. ahhh. I dont even like typing about it. Funny how I thought God was putting me in New Zea to grow at capernwray but then drew me towards a completly different area. God is limitless.
Hey Im tired and I got to close this. i know its usually longer but ill have plently of time to write next week. below is my Grad speech if you care to know a little how Ive been challenged here at school.
GRADUATION
Upon going home we, the students are all going to be bombarded with a repetitive question, "how was capernwray?" The simple answere: it was "good." maybe even, "it was very good." For myself I am going to try to aviod that response. Saying "good" gives a false impliacation that capernwray was mediocre. An experience that changed my life cannot be described in this way. If i were to explain to someone every way that capernwray built my relationship with Christ the person would be sorry they had asked because Christmas would have come. Its not possible for someone to fully understand the capernwray experience which is what makes the bond between us students so special. We have all had difference experiences while living in the same environment together for many months. however we have also had some similar ones. We wake up to each others bed heads, we know who to talk to in the morning and who not to, who likes smooth penut butter, who likes chunky,, we can tell the time by a loud bell that rings continually throughout the day. and we all know Ruths, "im about to scold you face". We are truly a close body of students that are flying our seperate ways tomorrow to tell others what has happened in this incredible place. So although it will be impossible to summarize the extent of what capernwrays done in my life I hope to be able to give a glimpse by a longer explanation then "good"
If I could use a bit of an analogy. My life use to be sort of like a TV dinner. The meat is my job and university studies the area of my life where I spend much time. The potatoes are my family and friends, also very important.. The vegitable section is my spiritual life, my prayer time, spending time with God. They were all seperate. Capernwray has helped me to have a better understanding of how life should be: a casserole. God does not come to me in sections like a TV dinner but rather is intimatly involved in all areas of my life, the meat, the potatoes and vegitables and therefore I should involve him in all areas. A life of worship is worship when I dont feel like it, when im in a traffic jam, when the capernwray morning bell is the last thing I want to here.
It was here that I have learnt to become more of aware of God in my daily life. Amidst the secular world that sometimes seems to crumble around me God is teaching me to also see that the world is also saturated with Him. His footprints are everywhere. For example just the other day I saw a child being tickled and the realization came to me that there is nothing that could explain how a tickle spot in a child came about other then our great creator. Our tastebuds are just another example of an intricate detail God has blessed us with so we can enjoy our earthly life a little more. He is worthy of so much more then we could ever praise. Capernwray has given me a confidence in Christ. The other day, Nat, a student here, asked me what I will physically become when I die. "dirt, i responded." He agreed and said, "but If your not walking in christ everyday your walking dirt." i was a little taken back at his bluntness and perhaps still am. But the reality is true, without him I am only physically exisiting, bearing no fruit, no substance. My identity is in Christ and anything good in my life is a prodiuct of him.
These are just a few ways I have grown during my time here in New Zealand. There are people in this room that have committed much time to young peoples lives like myself. Im not sure they realize how much effect they really have on us. they do not work here for the credit and they certainly do not work here for the money. saying thaknyou does not begin to express our gratitute for your time pouring into our lives. None of the staff are just in it for the job or they wouldnt be here. They keep us in line by shining a massive flashlight on us if we break curfuew, they tolerate very loud meal times but most importantly they are our mentors and friends. We wake up each morning and know Christ a little better because of the example that they set for us and the discipleship they give us. Could all the staff members and discipleship leaders stand up. On behave of all the students we say thankyou, we are leaving here better followers of christ.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
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So this week I have been billoted out and am living at a pastors house in a city called Hamilton. This is ministry week where 7 of us students are assigned to a church and work along side of them and serve in any way can. Tasks include running bible in schools programs, running a youth group evening, door to door evangelism, sharing testimonies in the sunday service, worship music etc. I was asked to be a ministry team leader... Sometimes I feel like the least mature person on the team but I just have to pretend Im not and continue to wonder why I was asked. Maybe thats the devil telling me I am not good enough. In truth, I probably am not qualified to be a leader this week. A passage I have been reading is matthew 14. Jesus calls Peter to do something he is not capable of doing: walk on water... Jesus didn't say, "I'm sorry, Peter, but water-walking is for Messiahs only." No, he said “Come.” It must have taken a lot of faith by Peter to take that first step out of the boat in the middle of the wind and waves and he only took a few steps succesfully. Those few steps were only possible because his eyes were fixed on Christ. God calls us to do “impossible” things by faith so He can receive glory when they are done. Although I may feel totally unsure of myself I can be confident in Christ. The only thing in this world that remains constant is God. This week is not about serving myself, not even about serving others but about serving God. These names wont mean much to you but, Mattias, Rebecca, Julia, Helge, Leighton and Hilly all have incredible attitudes and we have all learnt a lot about each other and shared many laughs while enduring some frusterations. I think a measure of our attitude of God is shown through our trials. So ya, the group has grown very close. A few of us have spent quite a bit of time in my old car. The car seems to be making more noise each day. We removed one car part today which has improved a horrendous sound. Haha, oh we laughed. The car does not have power steering and my arms ache after so many roundabouts.
Anyway, it is nice to be living in a home for a week. Free internet is always a perk I just have not had time to use it. This family is so funny, they never put away their milk products so every night I find at least two full milks on the counter to put into the fridge. Today there was cheese and yesterday butter left out. But then as I lay in bed I remembered that not all families refrigerate butter so I got out and put it back on the table. I know, Im so thoughtful. Maybe their milk has extra preservatives, I cant figure it out. Its weird cuz the grocery stores here do not refrigerate their eggs. Crazy New Zealand. They also do not insulate their houses. BRR.
This family has 6 daughters, the one I am finding myself drawn to is 20 and has autism. Her Dad told me she calls me her best friend. Pray that I can find ways to relate to her and also be patient. Today I told I joke. You know the feeling when you tell a story that is intended to be humerous but no one laughs. So you hope that it can just be brushed off without comment... haha well the girl (Becky) blantantly points out how unfunny my joke was. Hah, I just turned the music up in the car and chuckled to myself about how beautiful honesty can be.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
neat. I have never had a title before.. "kiwis"
Last week we had a lecturer that came here from India. India is 88% Hindu and for many of his years he was a part of the religion. He came from incredible wealth and a family of much power in India. When he became a Christian his father put a gun to his head and gave him two choices: “Either I shoot you now or you leave and never return, never telling anyone where you are from.” He walked away from his family, knowing the only time he would ever hear of them is from the media. He said the only reason he was able to walk away was he had a new joy; his new identity was in Christ. He still lives in India and has been faithfully ministering to the untouchables. The second night that he was a Christian he said he awoke to the sound of about 100 people coming closer to the mud shack that he was hiding in, wanting to kill him. It was the first time he fell to his knees and worshiped God. His heart broke for the lost. In horror he realized that a man was pouring kerosene onto the mud hut to light it on fire, but before the match was lit the 100 people were running in the opposite direction. Fear drove them away. When Satish (the speaker) looked up he saw a ring of fire surrounding the mud shack, one in which the persecuters had not lit. He said his Jesus and his Master was there. He is our safety and our hiding place.
He said that the biggest curse of Christianity is that we do not know how to depend on God. We say “Jesus” and we don’t see him as a real and living and holy God and therefore people are not seeing “Christ” live through Christians. Everyday he says he wakes up and thinks, “I want to know Jesus a little more.”
I have never been so inspired. Its been a week where I lay in bed thinking about stuff too deep to think about before going to bed! The more I learn about the bible the more I realize that I don’t know. Haha but im one of those lucky ones that doesn’t need 8 hours of sleep to function. Id love to be able to function on 5 but that could take some training. Sometimes I do get tired during lecture but I surely would not want to miss anything cuz this stuff is so good. I was concentrating so much on listening and keeping my lids open the other day that I forgot about swallowing saliva so I had a good drool on the table. I didn’t know the fellow beside me that well so he just pretended not to notice. That was kind of him, yes. Last week I also did my 10 minute oral report on snowboarding and related it to pain and suffering. I had my cardboard snowboard that I strapped onto my feet before climbing onto two chairs. Yup, not too smart. Its really hard to climb onto chairs with implanted feet. I finally got up on the chairs but then was facing the wrong direction with back to audience. I was sweating so much. Also cuz I was wearing a toque and mitts for effect. I have it on tape if you ever want a chuckle. I don’t think I could bare watching it to be honest. My thought process works differently then others I think. I should probably get it checked out.
Hmm what else is new, this weekend I was one of many leaders at youth conference called HM rage. There were 400 teenagers. Whew I almost feel like one again after coming out of it (cuz im sooo much older. Haha) It was fairly evangelical and by the end a lot of kids came to know the Lord. Heaven is being populated. Haleluajia! The theme was “army” so of course I brought afew fake guns which was surprisingly appropriate and many others had them as well. I had a fake grenade which I decided to keep in my bag though. Soo that was cool. Other then being involved with a church youth group I have been a bit detatched from people. this year has been less of a social year then I once thought in the beginning. I have focused more on my relationship with God then relationships with other students. this could partially be because a four year age gap does make a bit of a difference. I can hardly believe I will be 23 in a few weeks. That will be a tough day. Haha. Maybe Ill throw on a party hat and get a kazoo and celebrate with the sheep. Anyway the detachment may also have to do with the fact that God will remain constant in my life forever where many of these people I will be saying goodbye to in a month. I hang out with the staff a lot which is sweet sweetness. There is an elderly lady, Ruth who is head housekeeping who lives on campus. We hang out enough that sometimes I go there and we just hang out in silence. Hey check out this cool verse on silence… “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own affairs and to do work with your hands” (1 thessalonians 4:11) The only thing is that she keeps her place hot like a sauna so I need to go there less dressed. Last time I secretly tried to shut off her heater when she wasn’t lookin but I got caught. Its cool cuz we do favors for each other. She loves rice Pringles so I get her a can everytime I go into town and she gives me free internet and washing machine tokens and guitar lessons and tea and pudding. Whoa sounds like she has the upper hand. And sometimes I take her dog out but the last time I brought it back wearing clothes from the craft room and shes pretty protective of it so I dunno. Anyway the point is… Ive made a few friends but not that many as I am busy discovering what my life could look like if I am flexible to listen to what God is saying. A lecturer told us “there is a YOU shaped hole in Gods kingdom. Find it and fill it.”
Friday, May 22, 2009
much to say. Its getting cold here. brr. I need to purchase some sheep skin. getting out of my bunk bed is tough in the morning as our rooms are barely heated. Capernwray is very cost efficient with heat and milk portions. With much to say you wouldnt think that I would talk about the weather! oh my- im shivering as I write this and just sneezed all over my computer monitor. yuck. I dropped my lap top on cement and the screen broke so now I have this giant monitor that I found in the attic. By no means is it cold enough to have to plug in the old car but we have to let it run a while these days. Good thing it has a choke. On two week break me and Naomi were on the beach and I found a rotton fish. I thought it would be funny to put it on the windshield behind the wipers. Not funny nor intelligent. SOmetimes i forget to use a thought process and I do anything for a good laugh. When we put the vents on to defrost, we got the aroma of fish. It got worse and worse. haha. but we sure did laugh. I wish you could all meet this girl. She is such a peach and we have so much fun. She keeps me young. She is one of the younger ones here and I one of the older ones but youd never know. I am not looking forward to turning 23 out here in June! I feel silly being that old and I think I will run out of the room if people sing happy birthday. I dont think they will though as I will not being telling anyone. Hard to imagine that in six weeks I will be saying goodbye to all these people. For those of you who dont know... I will be homeless for about a week in new zealand after schools out and then go to Australia for a missions trip. But its not the ritzy australia. its the outback or the dessert of austrailia where many Aborigionals live and have not had the Gospel brought to them. The team will be sleeping under the stars, no tents, often no running water or electricity. Just us, the aborigionals and hopefully God working through us. I have been praying alot about the decision to go and its been a tough one. I do nto want the concept of how I FEEL determine my ministery. So often I try to live my life according to what I want and according to my desires. But if Christ truly dwells in me then I should be able to see him in EVERY area of my life and do everything to glorify his name. today we learnt in lecture that "A strong indication of christian maturity is the relaxed willingness to trust in the lord, to peacfully wait, and be good natured in the process." whew. sorry this is getting a bit heavy, its just whats been on my heart. God will provide answers. I just need to wait. I have been mediating on 1 Thessalonians 4:11... Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own buisness and to work with your hands... I need to learn to just be still and know that He is God. Capernwray has also now offered me an internship to work here alongside the staff for a year... just another thing to think about but it does not look like that is what I will be choosing. life brings soo many choices my mind sometimes aches.
hmmm... what else is new. On Tuesday (monday for you) I will be doing a 10 min speech on the topic of my choice. I chose to talk about Pain and Suffering and relate it to snowboarding all the while making it Christ centered. complicated. I made a cardboard snowboard which i will strap to my feet and stand on a chair. I will teach a little land snowboarding 101 and then talk about ways to fall on a snowboard. All snowboarders must endure some pain before getting good at the sport. Sometimes God uses pain and suffering to bring us closer to him. Suffering is not by itself good. What is good is the sufferer’s submission to God’s will. I think I have learnt a bit about this in the last year. Very cool stuff. I hope I do not fall off the chair. I think I will wear mittens and a helmet too. for effect of course. anyway, i best go here its 230 a.m for me and Im chopping firewood tomorrow at 830. I do like to busyness, something I need to be concious of and make sure there is balance. Im like my own pysciatrist.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Im learning that I cannot grow spiritually without prayer. 1 Thesssalonians 5:12 says, “Be joyful always, praying continually without ceasing.” I do not think that this means that we have to be on our knees in prayer all day but rather have God working through us and be completely aware of his presence.
“Dying to Self” –Bible Study II
John 12:20-27
Olivia Schinkel
For Johnson and Hargrave
John 12: 20-27
(20)Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. (21) They came to Philip, who was from Bethesda with a request, “sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.”(22) Phillip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus. (23) Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.” …. (27) Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”
INTRODUCTION
At a Soldiers' Cemetery in Nashville a stranger was once seen planting a flower upon a grave. When asked if some relative was buried there, he replied: "No; when the war broke out, I was too poor to enlist, as I had a wife and seven children to support. I was drafted, but had no money to hire a substitute, and made up my mind to go. After I was all ready to start, a young man came to me." "You have a large family," he said, "which your wife cannot take care of. I will go for you." "He did go in my place, and at battle he was wounded and taken to Nashville, where he died. Ever since I have wished to come and see his grave. So I have saved up all the spare money I could, and came and found my friend's grave." He then took the headboard and fixed it into the ground at the head of the grave. It bore the soldier's name, and underneath were the words, "He died for me."
This soldier died so someone else could live. Does this sound familiar? In John 12:23 Jesus uses the metaphor of a kernel of wheat to paint a picture of the purpose of his death. A kernel of wheat will not produce seeds unless it dies first. We would not have salvation had Christ not died for us.
BACKGROUND
Author: Apostle John
Date: AD 85. Some scholars have suggested an earlier dates possibly as early as AD 50
Purpose: The writer himself states that the main purpose is so that “you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name.” (20:31) His primary intention was evangelistic. (NIV study Bible, pg 1512)
* John is different from the other Gospels in that John assumes that readers know the basic facts about Jesus. Instead of facts he mulls over the profound meaning of what Jesus had said and done. I love the first chapter where John highlights Christ’s nature. There are no Christmas scenes or telling of Christ’s birth or youth. He is introduced as the Son of God and John humbly and beautifully points to Jesus as, “the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.”
TEACHING POINT 1: “We want to See Jesus!”
WORD STUDY: “See”- Ra’ah (7200) “to see, observe, perceive, get acquainted with, gain understanding, examine, look after, choose, discover. Basically ra-ah connotes seeing with ones eyes. The second primary meaning is “to perceive” or to be consciously aware of.
Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. They came to Philip, who was from Bethesda with a request, “sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” Phillip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus. Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
EXPLANATION
This passage takes place six days before Jesus was going to die. How would you feel if you knew for sure you were going to die six days from now? If you knew you were going to die this week Wednesday, from a heart attack or cancer would you not be preoccupied by it? Distracted by it?. That is what this passage is about. Jesus is thinking; he is contemplating about what lies ahead of him when suddenly he is interrupted by Andrew who tells him that two Greek men want to see him. Instead of answering them directly, he answered with, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
CREATIVE IDEA:
One person will be asked to close their eyes (probably Ruth). They will be told that something will happen to them that will probably make them startled. The person will likely become preoccupied with the thought of being startled. With eyes closed I will drop a heavy book on a table in front of her which will hopefully make her jump.
Even though Christ knew he was going to be crucified he still feared it. Verse 27 says: “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father to glorify your name.”
APPLICATION
Lets also put ourselves in the shoes of the two greek men. We are standing among people who say that Jesus, who is near by, is the messiah of Isreal. We hear and our bodies ache with longing, a possibility too good to be true. We’re hungry, we’re thirsty. We long for the bread of life that truly satisfies. To see him. To see his face. So there we are, with the Greeks and we get up enough courage, the faith to plea to see Jesus. These Greeks were begging to see Jesus. In the Greek language begging means to to ask continually, not just a one time action. Have you heard such a cry from anyone around you? There are people everywhere who want to see Jesus just as these Greeks did. They are in Cambridge and in every city and town in the world. They are in our neighbourhoods, our offices, our schools, and our homes.
DISCUSSION QUESTION/EXPLANATION OF PASSAGE Why do people want to see Jesus? (not necessarily in the literal sense)
Because they know that Jesus alone can help them. Money cannot help them. Designer jeans cannot help them. The newest technology cannot help them. Only Jesus can save them. There are Greeks in our time crying out, "We would like to meet with Jesus, the friend of sinners." They are crying to us. We are the Philips and Andrews of this world--everyday Christians, Disciples of Christ. God has given us a profound mission: As the light of the world, we have an obligation to bring these Gentiles to their Savior. John does not tell us whether Jesus met personally with these Greeks or even spoke directly to them. But the truth is, in this passage Jesus Christ addresses their very need.
QUESTION:
1. Imagine what it would be like to actually see Jesus. What would your first response be? Do you think we would live our lives differently after?
TEACHING POINT 2 Humans: Selfish. Christ: Selfless
“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
WORD STUDY: “Glorified” –kauchaomai (2744) “signifies “to boast against, exult over.” Or “rejoiceth”
APPLICATION/EXPLANATIONI was inspired when I heard David Susuki, a Canadian environmentalist speak on how unnecessary our overconsumption of meat is. To help us think about all the meat we there was a suggestion that we thank God for animals that died so that we are fed. I thought about this for a while but it seems like it would not be a popular prayer before a meal. How would you feel if I prayed for the cows that died in order that we can have hamburgers? Or the chickens that died so we can have chicken nuggets? Or whatever had to die to make hotdogs? It feels weird to realize that the food we eat had to die in order for it to enable us to live. But this isn’t just meat, ALL food has to die first. The grain is plucked from the ground, dies, is crushed, mixed and baked to make bread. The fresh fruit and vegetables we eat were all yanked off their life support and are in the process of death when we eat them. But truthfully we don’t spend too much time thinking about it. You may think about it at lunch today but by dinner it will have passed. That is because we are self-absorbed creatures. We think so much of ourselves that we hardly make room for anything else. Our culture is only attributing to this. Our modern technology tells me I am important. I am so important I need to have a personal phone that someone else calls to get a hold of me. No longer will you call a house and may get someone else, instead you call MY cell phone and I pick up or you can leave a message on MY voicemail. The social networks on the internet are even worse. We become obsessed with facebook and blogs. I’ll confess I am addicted to many of these things. I have done a blog before. I’m on Facebook. These things stroke the ego and build self esteem. That is why the words of Christ sting me when he says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Those who love their life will lose it…” A kernal of wheat has a hard, glossy husk, within which its life is contained. But if it falls into the ground then its husk softens and rots and breaks open. From inside the seed the power of its life begins to push outwards. Roots go down into the soil. A shoot comes up into the light where it grows stronger and taller and produces a single ear of corn. By harvest time there will be forty seeds where before there was only one. Next year if those forty seeds all fall on good soil they will produce sixteen hundred seeds. In the third year sixty-four thousand. In the fourth year over two and a half million. But only if that first seed falls to the ground and dies. So it is that Jesus offers bread to the whole world. He offers himself, his life, to come alive in hundreds, then thousands, then millions of others. But first he must die. And if we his followers wish to pass on his life then we too must learn the pattern of life. We will bear fruit only when we die to self. Romans 6:4 says, “we were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life. “
ILLUSTRATION
This concept is similar to that of salmon spawning. Each year salmon, every so slowly lumber along the bottom of the lake exhausted from swimming up the river. They travel literally hundreds of miles to a specific swimming hole to spawn. A salmons instinct is to be back to the place of its birth to die. So after the long laberous journey of being driven over rocks and dams and waterfalls they finally, dig a hole, lay their eggs and die. And out of those eggs comes new life. For it is only through dying that there is new life among the salmon.
DISCUSSION QUESTION:
How can we die to ourselves? Write down on the piece of paper what you would like to give up to God.
TEACHING POINT 3: The purpose of the Cross
Verse 27 says, “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father to glorify your name.”
WORD STUDY: “Troubled” Tarasso (5015) – troubled metaphorically, (a) of the soul and spirit of the Lord
EXPLANATION/APPLICATIONIn this verse Jesus is confessing that he does not really want to go through with the pain and suffering of crucifixion but in a model of selflessness, still pledges to go through with the plan. The scripture tells us that his heart was troubled. It was agony for Jesus to do the will of his Father. It was agony for Jesus to bring glory to his Father. It was agony for Jesus to draw all men to himself. But there was no other way. ”Martin Luther king once said, "No one ever feared death as much as this man." Just as Christ, Christians are not protected from pain. We have no insurance policy against agony. Sorrow can burn up a great deal of shallowness or it can lead to bitterness. It all depends on our perspective, it all depends on our motive. Jesus was not saved from the hour. He was saved for it. And so are we. We should not ask to be saved from agony, but that we glorify God through it.
ILLUSTRATIONOne of my favourite books in the Old Testament is Esther, the scene where Esther's life is at stake. She must plead for the life of her people before her husband the king. But for anyone including her to enter his presence unannounced could mean instant execution. Just as she was wavering, Mordecia reminds her,"If you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)
Just as Ester was making a choice to change the lives of the Jews, Jesus was making a decision that changed the course of history for the entire universe. Jesus entry into Jerusalem was not in anticipation of being crowned, but crucified. It was the example of supreme courage, knowing He was going, willingly, voluntarily, sacrificially to his death on our behalf. John 12:32 says, But I, when lifted up from the earth will draw all men to myself.” The phrase "lifted up" means two things. It means to be crucified, but it also carries with it the idea of glorification. The Son of God was glorified by being crucified. What was the passion of Jesus? You are the passion of Jesus. Even if you were the only person in the whole world he would still have died for you.
SUPPORTING VERSE
"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”
QUESTION:
What can we do more willingly for Christ?
CONCLUSION
This bible study has looked at the importance of seeing Christ and through “seeing’ him surrendering what we can of our sinful natures. We will never be able to completely die to ourselves because it is impossible to even be close to Christlike. Even though we are only sliver of his mighty and perfect image we can set our goals high and rely on his strength to help us. Psalm 44 says, “Create in my a clean heart O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.”
DYING TO SELF
When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take in all in patient, loving silence.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance; when you stand face-to- face with extravagance, spiritual insensibility-and endure it as Jesus endured.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any interruption by the will of God.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, when you can truly love to be unknown.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you can receive correction from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Anyway ill backtrack a little as I only told you about half of my two week break. After the blind camp I went to the coramandle which is an area of uttermost beauty. Part of the Narnia movie was filmed there. I don’t really know how to describe it other then when I saw it all I could think was “wow God.” He must have had so much fun creating new zealand. Afterwards I worked at a kids bible camp for two nights. I told the owner that he could put me to work for two days for free room and board. So my first job consisted of picking up fijoa skins that had already been chewed and spat out by the children. Yuck. (fijoa is a fruit that’s maybe a mix between passion fruit and kiwi but slimy) I made the most of it and tried to communicate with some of the kids while doing it but I could tell some of them were thinking “why would she want to come here to do that?” In the end i had a really good time. One night we had a dance and I borrowed a pretty yellow dress from one of the girls and danced the night away. It was so awesome to see that some of the kids came to Christ by the end. (of camp, not of the dance party) I feel so priveledged to be a believer and to freely be able to worship God however and whenever I want. We ahd missionaries come to our school and tell us about the persecution still happening to Christians around the world. The missionaries were bible translaters; a field of missionary work I often forget exits. There are 6991 languages in the world and there are 3000 that still do not have the gospel in their language. Makes me feel uneasy inside. There is so much work to be done in this world. We are blessed to not only have the bible at our fingertips but hundreds of theology books, sermons, DVDs and other Christian resources. I don’t know how to close this after a bit of a heavy ending but I must. The stars are out and that’s exciting after much rain so Im gonna dash.
Love Ollie
A few more NZ vs Canada differences
- so so many boys here grow rat tails. I have yet to figure out if it’s a joke or if they feel its attractive. I try not to sit behind them in church as it distracts me greatly. (and not because I think its attractive)
- hmm cant think of any more
cool video. not to do with my trip. http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=139f9c4c0036b123ee12
Sunday, April 19, 2009
So I have just finished working at the disability camp here at Capernwray. Most of the people were blind (about 40 people). Wow what a priviledge it is to have sight. I cannot even express how humbling this weekend was. Eight of us students were the eyes for the blind people. We led them where they wanted to go, put food on their plates and really spent time with them and listened to their stories. There was one meal where I was the only person at a table of eight with sight. The meal happened to be taco salad! I don’t think the cheff thought that decision through because it was exhausting. I circled the table and dished each person chips then meat, lettuce, cheese and sauces. Throughout the meal someone would ask for more cheese or whatever. So lets say the cheese was across the table from me and the person beside me asked for it… well I would wait a little while for it to get passed but then realized no one could see what dish was what. In fact they couldn’t even see that there was a dish at all so I would have to get up, go around the table and bring it back. During one meal I was lifting a fork of food to my mouth and it all dropped onto my lap. I felt a little embarrassed and looked around to see if anyone saw. Haha. I was in the clear. I could have had food all over my face and no one would have blinked an eye.
Anyhow, it was so awesome to experience how joyful the people were. They joked around about their disability as well. Someone would bump into me and they would say “oh sorry I didn’t see you there.” Really inspiring to see how God was predominant in their lives and that blindness did not affect their love for Christ. I think I would be angry if God took my vision! I value my surroundings more now then ever! Like seeing the different colors of leaves out here, so pretty! We went for a walk with the blind and I tried doing part of the walk with my eyes closed! Oh I did not last long. (partly because I was leading someone who was blind and that is a little dangerous). But the people sure are talented, some of them can play pretty cool instruments and one lady taught me how to waltz. A good ol time we had. Tomorrow I continue my travels of my two week break. Off too the Coramandle where there is good snorkeling and much beach. Yesterday I went to the Hamilton 400 which is a car race. My sensitive ears may be damaged but worth it. Catch you all later
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Im on two week break right now and half way done allready. Myself and car partner Naomi had quite the adventure allready. We went from a 5 star hotel in a big city (that we stayed at for free with a generous friend) to being on a island that we backpacked on. We ran through the city with our tenting gear on our backs and juuust caught the ferry to an island called Waihikee. We survived the week on a bucket of leftover chicken from school, a loaf of bread and some banannas. Upon arrival we stuck out our thumbs and got picked up pretty quickly. It helps to face traffic smiling huge! We stayed at a very strange hostel called fossil farms bay (well, we are cheap so we tented at it). Just the name sounds strange doesnt it? the people were incredibly earthy there and it seemed as though no one on the island works. strangers have plenty of time to chat so we met lots of locals. The island is gorgeous and one of my highlights was probably running through an olive orchard. I love olives so of course I popped one into my mouth. An unripe olive is the worst taste you can imagine. I tried to mask the look of disgust on my face with a look that said "mmm that was tasty" so that my friend would try an olive too. she did it! yuck! We were very active on this island and did some sea kyaking, hike and bike ride, swimming too. God provided everything we needed and kept us safe and we made sure to praise him for that. Me and Naomi really keep each other accountable when it comes to our prayer lives. There is something to be said about praying in beautiful surroundings. Makes one appreciate how big our God is.
It felt real weird comming back to a big city of busyness. Lots of people looked at us funny, im sure we looked pretty grungy as we sat in an ice cream shop. But we didnt care, we were so full of joy. Right now I am back at school helping out at a disability camp for blind and deaf people. They arrive in a few hours! It will be a very humbling experience and Im excited for it. We take so much for granted, something as simple yet so complex as sight! As i look at my clothes today they surely do not match but guess what, for this crowd it really wont matter:)
ill fill you in after the weekend. many blessings
love ollie
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Id love to fill you all in so that’s just what ill do! Tomorrow our two week break begins. Well, actually it began on Friday but I have been the cook here at capernwray for an arts festival all weekend. I even made a paper chef hat to fit the part. Someone said it looked more like a baking hat and I got pretty upset. But its been a lot of fun, nine of us have been here all weekend (them all being choir members) and I have gotten to know some of them better. Tonight myself and friend Calvin connected a string from his room to my room with cups on the ends so we could communicate better. Haha oh we laughed. Earlier a few of us went to an easter event called “stations at the cross” where artists put together scenes of the crusifiction in creative ways. One station in particular touched my heart… A pit was dug in the ground like a grave with the metal rods around it and a wooden box in the pit. People were free to take soil and put it in the grave. It was an eerie feeling to know that in time this is where our bodies rest. Earth is just a snapshot in comparison to eternity and it made me want to live with more purpose, more joy, reach more people, help more in need, embrace those small things in life and generally just make more of a difference.
Another station had a tunnel to walk through with words like “excruciating, torment, humiliation, and nails” printed on billboards. Words to describe what Jesus went through on the cross, dying not only an extremely painful death but an emotionally painful death as well. Overall it was a humbling experience that I have really valued.
Beginning tomorrow I will be traveling on the north island for a week with my car partner Naomi. We have no destinations and no timeline or plan but theres plently to see. I love spontinutiy. Being the cook this weekend I am responsible for throwing out any food that might get old during the break. Thought it would be a great opportunity to throw some left overs in a cooler to nibble on. It excites me to save money on food. The last week of break Ill jump around a bit and live at a pastors house few nights and possibly travel to wellington with Cal. My plans continue to change all the time. Again, that’s the beauty of spontinuity. Sometimes the most fun is had when theres no agenda. I have never had such a laid back attitude as I have here in New Zealand and I kind of hope it sticks with me in Canada. I truly believe that’s why I have been sleeping better… don’t have anything to worry about and I go to sleep with a clear mind (usually). I thank God for this often as I had many awake nights this autumn.
So that’s a few new tid bits in my life… if you ever feel like fillin me in I do have an address that I get free internet time on which is oliviaschinkel@capernwray.org.nz. Have a nice easter Monday. Love olivia
Few more NZ/Canada differences
-they eat the skin of kiwis. The kiwis out here are not as furry as ours and are more yellow. At first when I started eating the skin I did not like it as I was taking too small of bites and not getting enough fruit with the skin. Now I have embraced this knowledge that if you take bigger bites the skin is a delicacy.
-police cars everywhere. I have randomly been breathalized in a grocery store parking lot. Possibly because my car looks like it should not be on the road
I cannot even describe how different the cop cars look from ours. Checkered racing stripes on bother sides. Almost seems like a joke.
-pon shops are called op shops
-get sunburnt real fast. My olive toned first nations skin comes in handy
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Anyhow, I am going into too much detail again and a day is a terrible thing to wast so Ill tell you a little about our ministry week here in hastings. We have been doing some door to door evangelism. I have always had mixed feelings about this form of spreading the gospel but this was the task we were given and so I thought I may as well do it whole heartedly. Like a jehova witness would. Haha. Ill tell you, I have never had to rely on Gods strength so much. Going to my first door was scary. I sent up a quick prayer for the person on the other side of the door and shakily knocked. (I also secretly prayed that they would not be home, but of course they were). A lady answered and we told her we were from bible school and shared a little about ourselves… low and behold she invited me and my buddy nick in. after more small talk we asked her if she knew anyone who personally knew Jesus Christ. Silence for a moment, followed by the word “no.” this was the response of many people throughout our days. ah, makes my heart sad. Here I am at the doorstep and feel like I have a huge priveledge in knowing the truth. God has chosen me to be a follower of Christ and yet its very difficult to tactfully send this message to others. One neat thing is that no one can argue when you talk about a personal experience so I focused on talking about how God has worked in my life and that my joy is in his strength. I really wish I knew more scripture and theology but I have a lot to learn so sharing my walk with God was really all I had. I visited with one lady who had a very negative view of the church and left her door feeling like we had not gotten anywhere. I walked all the way down the street and just could not get her off my mind. I figured it may be God telling me to go back. So I just walked faster as I really did not want to go back. In the end I ended up back on her doorstep and gave her a small Gideon new testament and told her if she had some time, it’s a well worth read, that it holds the truth, and that it has changed many lives including minw. So who knows what will happen with that sweet lady. Before each door knock God knew which doors would be shut on us (there were many) and he knew which people would invite us in. I learned that everything is in his control and that we are just there being his feet. He is the heart. Pretty cool stuff.
**** back at capernwray
Yup, after this I will be on two week break and decided to stick around Cambridge. In sillyness I volunteered to cook for the easter service choir and staff members at school here for one weekend. I really talked up my cooking skills so now I am the one and only one cooking! For many many people. What have I done? Haha. I think ill purchase a chefs hat so I can at least look the part. And other then that, I plan to spend time with some of the girls from the church I attend, maybe do some painting at this other church and possibly work at a camp a bit. Save my travel time for july. Alls good. Ill write again soon.
Xoxo - ohliv
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
So here I am in my favourite spot, the hammock of sharing time. All I can hear is the cows chewing the grass. As I watch them, none of them are not eating. Its their whole life eating that grass, well one of them is eating a tree branch now. Then realized its not as good and went back to the grass. Makes me glad to have a personality. They chew a lot more then humans considering they have four stomachs.
Tonight most of the girls went to the directors house to watch a five hour movie… I knew I did not have the attention span for that so I am back on campus where all the boys are “gaming.” I kind of threw a fit so we agreed that they would only play the computer games for an hour …so I figured this would be a nice opportunity to catch up. When the girls get back we are having our first sleepover. Im a little nervous! I think I will prepare a snack. Possibly some apple crisp from the apple tree. Yes, they would like that. I better go pick up some ice cream as well. I wouldn’t want to turn up at this party without treats.
Continuing on, I am learning SO much here that my mind hurts. But the good kind. …. I find much joy in talking about heaven so I thought I would just expand a little about what our prof. said today about eternity. God created everything we enjoy now in 6 days and his creation is incredible. So can you imagine what heaven will be like if hes been working on it for 2 millenniums. Im not sure if I totally agree that hes continually improving heaven but it did get me thinking. He has prepared this wonderful place for us and says that he will personally be coming back to get us! I can hardly wait. I was reminded of the verse that I read to Grandma when she was so sick… “No eye can see, no ear can hear, no mind can conceive what God has in store for those who love him.” Heaven is just simply waay to big to fit into our small minds. So if this place is so incredible we should be living our short lives with such purpose. We should be pursing God every day for no personal benefit. At Capernwray its easy to spend time with God but I know back at home I would try to fit Christian activities in an already full week. But whos week is it? God gave me the hours in this week and they are HIS hours, but its up to me to choose how to spend them. The people at the church I attend have really shown me an example of spending time on changing lives. Some people are so passionate about changing lives that they will spend many extra hours ministering in small ways which in the end make big differences. I could go on and on about all that I learn… but Ill save some for next time.
**** next day***
I was about to write a little more and then send this but suddenly had the feeling I needed to just leave school for a bit on the gorgeous sun. afternoon. Im going to visit a friend now and am a little nervous about the drive. Its only 20 minutes but that’s a long way of not knowing if Im driving the right way… wish me well, continue soon.
****
Oh my goodness, this blog report is taking me so long to send. I am back from my driving adventure and am now sitting in my bed. This WILL get sent tonight. Im eating an apple in bed and am on the top bunk… so of course I have the core in hand. Normally I would just throw it on the ground but we have been having ant problems from me previously throwing down my food scraps so I decided to just eat the core and seeds so I don’t wake anyone by crawling down. Of course I choke on it and all three are now awake. Whoops. Anyway the 20 min drive and visit went lovely, its such a gorgeous drive. I defiantly had the windows down and music loud. Reminds me of the time I did not hear a police officer pulling me over with lights and sirens. Me and my friend hung out by the lake and I taught her how to drive. Tonight back at school we had fellowship which is a time to reflect on the week. I cannot tell you how much reflecting we do here. They either call it reflecting or debriefing. They probably have two words for it to make it seem like its something different but really it’s the exact same. But I am not trying to make fun, it’s a good thing. That was just me debriefing really.
What else have I done exciting… had fish and chips for the first time out here. They package it in news paper and it really adds to the atmousphere of the event, and maybe even to the flavour. Especially when you eat it on the beach and a little sand gets in the tartar sauce. (with the kiwi accent it just sounds like tata sauce. Can you hear it?) seagulls also really add to the atmousphere but I learnt not to feed them the chips too early as they really take over the conversation and view.
In closing, ill just add that my highlight has been my answered prayer in being motivated to get into the bible. It does not feel like a chore anymore and I hope this does not go away. Whats cool is that its not just a set time for a devotion (which is good too) but a desire to read a passage or have a quick chat with God in the afternoon, or evening or in the supermarket or a parking lot. lately the Datsuns open trunk has been my area for morning devotion cuz the grass is so wet…. Maybe that’s why the car has been running so well lately. Its just a purring. I really hope it lasts a few more months. Ill add photos soon. K well hope this essay makes up for the lack of blogging. Lots of love xoxo -OLLI
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
So lets start with some news… I am a proud owner of a 1979 Datsun. It’s a very old car, the van idea did not work out. People stare. Maybe they are impressed? Ill be sure to post a photo. The car does drive stick and I have gotten the hang of that. Me and Naomi (the girl I bought it with) have had so so much fun in it. We have prayed in it, laughed in it, ran out of gas, gone on beach trips, and played some very loud music in it, with at least one arm out the window at all times. I am very thankful for her friendship. We have tried to make our vehicle pleasing to the lord so we are going to transplant a plant or maybe some moss into the cup holder (to remind us of nature, of course), and we always read a passage from the message before get into gear. The staff here also asked me to get my drivers license for the 10 seat passenger vans as they seem to think im one of the mature students that can handle this task. (also shift.) It’s a massive vehicle and I feel pretty responsible for the lives in it so I drive real cautiously. I ask the students to be quiet when I drive it for full concentration. No music aloud yet. I drove it for the first time last week and drive it every Thursday to something called “bible in schools.” This is where a few of us have been assigned to a classroom of 30 students (mines age 8-9) and teach them a bible lesson for half an hour each week. For a lot of the kids it’s the only time they ever hear about Jesus. My lesson this week is on generosity and Im really excited about it. Last week was an introductory class so myself and another girl brought the kids a Canadian flag and told them about stuff like frostbite, how we don’t have possums, and how the moons different. Then I got them to draw pictures of stuff to help me learn… One thing that I am having a hard time grasping onto is all the different meanings of the word “kiwi.” If you just say kiwi, its talking about the people who are native to new Zealand. If your talking about the fruit you have to say “kiwi fruit” and if your talking about the bird you have to say “kiwi bird.” It’s a learning process.
Today five of us girls made a video about beauty that we are going to show all the girls next Sunday night. No make up was allowed, plain clothes, undone hair. (twas a little tough for me!) We interviewed each other on what inner beauty means to us, what scripture tells us about beauty… etc and took some natural photos. (I think I posted a few, hence the ones of me alone).
I know my CMU friends love hearing about the differences between our countries so heres just a few to chew on
1. when there is lots of something everyone says “heaps.”
2. sandles are jandles and you cannot drive with them on. Barefoot is acceptable for driving of course, where as for us its illegal.
3. glow worms
4. people call each other “mate”. Clever I suppose if you don’t know somoenes name
5. many enjoy a disgusting “marmalade” on their toast. I cant even describe it but it’s a yeast spread.
6. tim tam slams
One of my roommates just woke up as my typing got a little vigerous… so goodnight!
Ps- mom, oddly I am remembering I had a dentist appointment this spring, would you do me a huge favour and cancel that. How are my renters? Paying on time? sorry, this is rude, ill just write u a personal email. Think of u oftenJ
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Ok, now I have left the library bench and I have five hours left of silence. I am going to find a place to have my ham sandwich, and continue to learn, maybe by a nice river. Thank you for listening.