since the blogs purpose is to tell you about the new events of my life I think its time I share about someone who has been very significant to me. Nearly two months ago I was a leader at a youth conference called HM rage. Every morning the leaders got together to talk and pray for the youth. Every morning Danny Hungerford sat across the room from me until the second last day. In New Zealand they often have a water jug with dirty and clean cups on either side. Being a naive canadian I go to grap a dirty cup. Danny kindly pointed out this mistake... and so went our first conversation. A week later Im doing some baking in capernwray. I am wearing long johns with moose on them for boys ages 7-11 with a second hand sweater. My teeth have most likely not been brushed. Danny decides to stop for a vistit... and so goes our second conversation. We had a milo at capernwray but every capernwray student was staring so we left for a walk. Conversation was easy. I was pretending I wasnt nervous. He opened doors, let me wear his sunglasses, wore his collar up. NOrmally I wouldnt get together with someone two days in a row but I told my self it didnt count because the day before was so short so I ended up going to Raglan beach with him sunday aft.
My last blog talked about living on a friends farm. Soo if you havent figured it out that "friend" is danny. I am enjoying getting to know him better every day. Heres just a little about him: He loves God. This is shown by the way he treats people, even strangers. We picked up a hitchiker and Danny took this opportunity to invite him to church and share that hes a christian. The hiker Rick said he would be at church sunday. A beautiful picture of God working through somene. Danny makes me laugh like I am 6 years old again. My cheeks hurt. He is not afraid to make fun of how I laugh so hard I dont make a sound, How i get stuck on the driveway way to often and my accent. The other day I said the word "poor" and he actually had no idea what I was trying to say. He has done some colledge for electrican work and did that for a while and is now working on the dairy farm. He is the definition of a farm boy. I have really fallen for him, and as much as I never want to rush a relationship something just feels right about him. I wake up every morning so happy as I know its one more day with him. I thank God for him often. Our personalities are like an oreo. Different, but good together.
I think if its Gods will, the relationship will work despite the long distance. This is not a two person relationship but a three person, with God being central .I pray that myself and Danny will continue to help each other know Jesus better and that in choosing to date we know that God is more important then each other.
Im writign this now as he is just finishing milking the cows. In the mornings I help teach the calves to feed and we hang out in the evenings. Yesterday we watched the stars, the night before we went to natural hot pools. We have done some sight seeing and somtimes go for a dirtbike. thats my favorite. We said we would not do a countdown but I not-so-secretly do. I have seven days to learn about danny before I take the long trip home. Cant wait to see you all. He'll be doing the same trip in December;)
love ols
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Hey turkeys
ah canada sure sounds nice right now. chilly here at night but the days are nice. tonights my last night in a warm bed before ill be sleeping in my car while traveling. me and naomi are trying to travel cheap so we made sure to be the last ones at school so we could collect all the leftover food. suprising what people leave. canned apricots (which are delicious), much penut butter, some pesto sauce, 2 onions, and mushroom soup in these strange zip lock bags. sounds like we'll be eating well. i also took my last shower for a while tonight. on sunday we will find a church that we have never been to. we'll walk in just as we are. possibly looking like we have been living in a car. nay's hair dreads very quickly so that always adds to the homeless look. probably sit in the back and see how people perseve us. good way to see where peoples hearts are. I hope everyone else is wearing their sunday bests. smelling of sweet roses and vanilla. after that ill go to a farm in tauraranga, a very nice part of new zealand.. its a dairy farm and kiwi orchard. they milk three times a day, 5am, 11 am and 5 pm i think. i got to see it last weekend and had my first kiwi fruit fight. when thrown hard they hurt even when rotten. i love waking up on a farm. I sit on the window sill and there are cows everywhere. My friend taught me which are "good looking cows" and the not so good lookers. Im not very good at deciding yet. beyond the cows are pretty hills, perfect padocks. its just lovely. So yup, when Im there I will work maybe 4 ish days a week and on days off i have plenty to do. I got a hold of these amazing work books. I met these missionaries that got too old to serve in ethiopia so now they create these bible studies and send them to third world countries as well as prisions or anyone else who may want them. there is a work book for each book of the bible but I only got 17 or something.. Im kind of tired about talking about my "feelings" from capernwray so what I love about the work books is that it helps to gain bible knowledge. the answers are in the bible passages. I learn well from writing things out so im really excited to work on them. hmm what else do i have planned..
-keep learning guitar
-photography
-find an old folks home
-bicycle
-make dinner for farm friend
-read . did you know a majority of our spiritual growth comes from reading? id throw out a percent but it sounds too high to belive. did you know that 80% of statistics are made up.
and then I come home. whoa. weird hey. I dropped off a good friend calvin at the airport last week and it was tough. we had all done our goodbyes and then suddenly saw them again. i yelled a finial goodbye across the airport. it was much louder then anticipated but I did not care. so sad. I hate goodbyes. we need more hellos. it will be very hard for me to leave this place. im not sure if NZ is done with me yet. Its so weird cuz i never cried when I said goodbye to the capernwray students. I tried to as I stood their being the only one with dry eyes but I knew a forced cry would be too fake to believe. it would just be pouty sounds. But i defintaly choked up saying goodbye to the church people that Ive grown so close to. ahhh. I dont even like typing about it. Funny how I thought God was putting me in New Zea to grow at capernwray but then drew me towards a completly different area. God is limitless.
Hey Im tired and I got to close this. i know its usually longer but ill have plently of time to write next week. below is my Grad speech if you care to know a little how Ive been challenged here at school.
GRADUATION
Upon going home we, the students are all going to be bombarded with a repetitive question, "how was capernwray?" The simple answere: it was "good." maybe even, "it was very good." For myself I am going to try to aviod that response. Saying "good" gives a false impliacation that capernwray was mediocre. An experience that changed my life cannot be described in this way. If i were to explain to someone every way that capernwray built my relationship with Christ the person would be sorry they had asked because Christmas would have come. Its not possible for someone to fully understand the capernwray experience which is what makes the bond between us students so special. We have all had difference experiences while living in the same environment together for many months. however we have also had some similar ones. We wake up to each others bed heads, we know who to talk to in the morning and who not to, who likes smooth penut butter, who likes chunky,, we can tell the time by a loud bell that rings continually throughout the day. and we all know Ruths, "im about to scold you face". We are truly a close body of students that are flying our seperate ways tomorrow to tell others what has happened in this incredible place. So although it will be impossible to summarize the extent of what capernwrays done in my life I hope to be able to give a glimpse by a longer explanation then "good"
If I could use a bit of an analogy. My life use to be sort of like a TV dinner. The meat is my job and university studies the area of my life where I spend much time. The potatoes are my family and friends, also very important.. The vegitable section is my spiritual life, my prayer time, spending time with God. They were all seperate. Capernwray has helped me to have a better understanding of how life should be: a casserole. God does not come to me in sections like a TV dinner but rather is intimatly involved in all areas of my life, the meat, the potatoes and vegitables and therefore I should involve him in all areas. A life of worship is worship when I dont feel like it, when im in a traffic jam, when the capernwray morning bell is the last thing I want to here.
It was here that I have learnt to become more of aware of God in my daily life. Amidst the secular world that sometimes seems to crumble around me God is teaching me to also see that the world is also saturated with Him. His footprints are everywhere. For example just the other day I saw a child being tickled and the realization came to me that there is nothing that could explain how a tickle spot in a child came about other then our great creator. Our tastebuds are just another example of an intricate detail God has blessed us with so we can enjoy our earthly life a little more. He is worthy of so much more then we could ever praise. Capernwray has given me a confidence in Christ. The other day, Nat, a student here, asked me what I will physically become when I die. "dirt, i responded." He agreed and said, "but If your not walking in christ everyday your walking dirt." i was a little taken back at his bluntness and perhaps still am. But the reality is true, without him I am only physically exisiting, bearing no fruit, no substance. My identity is in Christ and anything good in my life is a prodiuct of him.
These are just a few ways I have grown during my time here in New Zealand. There are people in this room that have committed much time to young peoples lives like myself. Im not sure they realize how much effect they really have on us. they do not work here for the credit and they certainly do not work here for the money. saying thaknyou does not begin to express our gratitute for your time pouring into our lives. None of the staff are just in it for the job or they wouldnt be here. They keep us in line by shining a massive flashlight on us if we break curfuew, they tolerate very loud meal times but most importantly they are our mentors and friends. We wake up each morning and know Christ a little better because of the example that they set for us and the discipleship they give us. Could all the staff members and discipleship leaders stand up. On behave of all the students we say thankyou, we are leaving here better followers of christ.
ah canada sure sounds nice right now. chilly here at night but the days are nice. tonights my last night in a warm bed before ill be sleeping in my car while traveling. me and naomi are trying to travel cheap so we made sure to be the last ones at school so we could collect all the leftover food. suprising what people leave. canned apricots (which are delicious), much penut butter, some pesto sauce, 2 onions, and mushroom soup in these strange zip lock bags. sounds like we'll be eating well. i also took my last shower for a while tonight. on sunday we will find a church that we have never been to. we'll walk in just as we are. possibly looking like we have been living in a car. nay's hair dreads very quickly so that always adds to the homeless look. probably sit in the back and see how people perseve us. good way to see where peoples hearts are. I hope everyone else is wearing their sunday bests. smelling of sweet roses and vanilla. after that ill go to a farm in tauraranga, a very nice part of new zealand.. its a dairy farm and kiwi orchard. they milk three times a day, 5am, 11 am and 5 pm i think. i got to see it last weekend and had my first kiwi fruit fight. when thrown hard they hurt even when rotten. i love waking up on a farm. I sit on the window sill and there are cows everywhere. My friend taught me which are "good looking cows" and the not so good lookers. Im not very good at deciding yet. beyond the cows are pretty hills, perfect padocks. its just lovely. So yup, when Im there I will work maybe 4 ish days a week and on days off i have plenty to do. I got a hold of these amazing work books. I met these missionaries that got too old to serve in ethiopia so now they create these bible studies and send them to third world countries as well as prisions or anyone else who may want them. there is a work book for each book of the bible but I only got 17 or something.. Im kind of tired about talking about my "feelings" from capernwray so what I love about the work books is that it helps to gain bible knowledge. the answers are in the bible passages. I learn well from writing things out so im really excited to work on them. hmm what else do i have planned..
-keep learning guitar
-photography
-find an old folks home
-bicycle
-make dinner for farm friend
-read . did you know a majority of our spiritual growth comes from reading? id throw out a percent but it sounds too high to belive. did you know that 80% of statistics are made up.
and then I come home. whoa. weird hey. I dropped off a good friend calvin at the airport last week and it was tough. we had all done our goodbyes and then suddenly saw them again. i yelled a finial goodbye across the airport. it was much louder then anticipated but I did not care. so sad. I hate goodbyes. we need more hellos. it will be very hard for me to leave this place. im not sure if NZ is done with me yet. Its so weird cuz i never cried when I said goodbye to the capernwray students. I tried to as I stood their being the only one with dry eyes but I knew a forced cry would be too fake to believe. it would just be pouty sounds. But i defintaly choked up saying goodbye to the church people that Ive grown so close to. ahhh. I dont even like typing about it. Funny how I thought God was putting me in New Zea to grow at capernwray but then drew me towards a completly different area. God is limitless.
Hey Im tired and I got to close this. i know its usually longer but ill have plently of time to write next week. below is my Grad speech if you care to know a little how Ive been challenged here at school.
GRADUATION
Upon going home we, the students are all going to be bombarded with a repetitive question, "how was capernwray?" The simple answere: it was "good." maybe even, "it was very good." For myself I am going to try to aviod that response. Saying "good" gives a false impliacation that capernwray was mediocre. An experience that changed my life cannot be described in this way. If i were to explain to someone every way that capernwray built my relationship with Christ the person would be sorry they had asked because Christmas would have come. Its not possible for someone to fully understand the capernwray experience which is what makes the bond between us students so special. We have all had difference experiences while living in the same environment together for many months. however we have also had some similar ones. We wake up to each others bed heads, we know who to talk to in the morning and who not to, who likes smooth penut butter, who likes chunky,, we can tell the time by a loud bell that rings continually throughout the day. and we all know Ruths, "im about to scold you face". We are truly a close body of students that are flying our seperate ways tomorrow to tell others what has happened in this incredible place. So although it will be impossible to summarize the extent of what capernwrays done in my life I hope to be able to give a glimpse by a longer explanation then "good"
If I could use a bit of an analogy. My life use to be sort of like a TV dinner. The meat is my job and university studies the area of my life where I spend much time. The potatoes are my family and friends, also very important.. The vegitable section is my spiritual life, my prayer time, spending time with God. They were all seperate. Capernwray has helped me to have a better understanding of how life should be: a casserole. God does not come to me in sections like a TV dinner but rather is intimatly involved in all areas of my life, the meat, the potatoes and vegitables and therefore I should involve him in all areas. A life of worship is worship when I dont feel like it, when im in a traffic jam, when the capernwray morning bell is the last thing I want to here.
It was here that I have learnt to become more of aware of God in my daily life. Amidst the secular world that sometimes seems to crumble around me God is teaching me to also see that the world is also saturated with Him. His footprints are everywhere. For example just the other day I saw a child being tickled and the realization came to me that there is nothing that could explain how a tickle spot in a child came about other then our great creator. Our tastebuds are just another example of an intricate detail God has blessed us with so we can enjoy our earthly life a little more. He is worthy of so much more then we could ever praise. Capernwray has given me a confidence in Christ. The other day, Nat, a student here, asked me what I will physically become when I die. "dirt, i responded." He agreed and said, "but If your not walking in christ everyday your walking dirt." i was a little taken back at his bluntness and perhaps still am. But the reality is true, without him I am only physically exisiting, bearing no fruit, no substance. My identity is in Christ and anything good in my life is a prodiuct of him.
These are just a few ways I have grown during my time here in New Zealand. There are people in this room that have committed much time to young peoples lives like myself. Im not sure they realize how much effect they really have on us. they do not work here for the credit and they certainly do not work here for the money. saying thaknyou does not begin to express our gratitute for your time pouring into our lives. None of the staff are just in it for the job or they wouldnt be here. They keep us in line by shining a massive flashlight on us if we break curfuew, they tolerate very loud meal times but most importantly they are our mentors and friends. We wake up each morning and know Christ a little better because of the example that they set for us and the discipleship they give us. Could all the staff members and discipleship leaders stand up. On behave of all the students we say thankyou, we are leaving here better followers of christ.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
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So this week I have been billoted out and am living at a pastors house in a city called Hamilton. This is ministry week where 7 of us students are assigned to a church and work along side of them and serve in any way can. Tasks include running bible in schools programs, running a youth group evening, door to door evangelism, sharing testimonies in the sunday service, worship music etc. I was asked to be a ministry team leader... Sometimes I feel like the least mature person on the team but I just have to pretend Im not and continue to wonder why I was asked. Maybe thats the devil telling me I am not good enough. In truth, I probably am not qualified to be a leader this week. A passage I have been reading is matthew 14. Jesus calls Peter to do something he is not capable of doing: walk on water... Jesus didn't say, "I'm sorry, Peter, but water-walking is for Messiahs only." No, he said “Come.” It must have taken a lot of faith by Peter to take that first step out of the boat in the middle of the wind and waves and he only took a few steps succesfully. Those few steps were only possible because his eyes were fixed on Christ. God calls us to do “impossible” things by faith so He can receive glory when they are done. Although I may feel totally unsure of myself I can be confident in Christ. The only thing in this world that remains constant is God. This week is not about serving myself, not even about serving others but about serving God. These names wont mean much to you but, Mattias, Rebecca, Julia, Helge, Leighton and Hilly all have incredible attitudes and we have all learnt a lot about each other and shared many laughs while enduring some frusterations. I think a measure of our attitude of God is shown through our trials. So ya, the group has grown very close. A few of us have spent quite a bit of time in my old car. The car seems to be making more noise each day. We removed one car part today which has improved a horrendous sound. Haha, oh we laughed. The car does not have power steering and my arms ache after so many roundabouts.
Anyway, it is nice to be living in a home for a week. Free internet is always a perk I just have not had time to use it. This family is so funny, they never put away their milk products so every night I find at least two full milks on the counter to put into the fridge. Today there was cheese and yesterday butter left out. But then as I lay in bed I remembered that not all families refrigerate butter so I got out and put it back on the table. I know, Im so thoughtful. Maybe their milk has extra preservatives, I cant figure it out. Its weird cuz the grocery stores here do not refrigerate their eggs. Crazy New Zealand. They also do not insulate their houses. BRR.
This family has 6 daughters, the one I am finding myself drawn to is 20 and has autism. Her Dad told me she calls me her best friend. Pray that I can find ways to relate to her and also be patient. Today I told I joke. You know the feeling when you tell a story that is intended to be humerous but no one laughs. So you hope that it can just be brushed off without comment... haha well the girl (Becky) blantantly points out how unfunny my joke was. Hah, I just turned the music up in the car and chuckled to myself about how beautiful honesty can be.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
neat. I have never had a title before.. "kiwis"
I discovered another delight of new Zealand today: the price of kiwi fruit. Today I bought a bag of 15 for $1.34. I eat them like apples. My friend who lives out here does not like the skin but I do, so sometimes I just eat the skin with no kiwi fruit. Tasty treat, in fact Im enjoying one right now. Im writing this in my bunk right now shivering. The night temperature has plummeted. Many people bring hot water bottles to bed but I believe they are far too dangerous. Just wait, one will burst and they will think the dropout nurse will know what to do.
Last week we had a lecturer that came here from India. India is 88% Hindu and for many of his years he was a part of the religion. He came from incredible wealth and a family of much power in India. When he became a Christian his father put a gun to his head and gave him two choices: “Either I shoot you now or you leave and never return, never telling anyone where you are from.” He walked away from his family, knowing the only time he would ever hear of them is from the media. He said the only reason he was able to walk away was he had a new joy; his new identity was in Christ. He still lives in India and has been faithfully ministering to the untouchables. The second night that he was a Christian he said he awoke to the sound of about 100 people coming closer to the mud shack that he was hiding in, wanting to kill him. It was the first time he fell to his knees and worshiped God. His heart broke for the lost. In horror he realized that a man was pouring kerosene onto the mud hut to light it on fire, but before the match was lit the 100 people were running in the opposite direction. Fear drove them away. When Satish (the speaker) looked up he saw a ring of fire surrounding the mud shack, one in which the persecuters had not lit. He said his Jesus and his Master was there. He is our safety and our hiding place.
He said that the biggest curse of Christianity is that we do not know how to depend on God. We say “Jesus” and we don’t see him as a real and living and holy God and therefore people are not seeing “Christ” live through Christians. Everyday he says he wakes up and thinks, “I want to know Jesus a little more.”
I have never been so inspired. Its been a week where I lay in bed thinking about stuff too deep to think about before going to bed! The more I learn about the bible the more I realize that I don’t know. Haha but im one of those lucky ones that doesn’t need 8 hours of sleep to function. Id love to be able to function on 5 but that could take some training. Sometimes I do get tired during lecture but I surely would not want to miss anything cuz this stuff is so good. I was concentrating so much on listening and keeping my lids open the other day that I forgot about swallowing saliva so I had a good drool on the table. I didn’t know the fellow beside me that well so he just pretended not to notice. That was kind of him, yes. Last week I also did my 10 minute oral report on snowboarding and related it to pain and suffering. I had my cardboard snowboard that I strapped onto my feet before climbing onto two chairs. Yup, not too smart. Its really hard to climb onto chairs with implanted feet. I finally got up on the chairs but then was facing the wrong direction with back to audience. I was sweating so much. Also cuz I was wearing a toque and mitts for effect. I have it on tape if you ever want a chuckle. I don’t think I could bare watching it to be honest. My thought process works differently then others I think. I should probably get it checked out.
Hmm what else is new, this weekend I was one of many leaders at youth conference called HM rage. There were 400 teenagers. Whew I almost feel like one again after coming out of it (cuz im sooo much older. Haha) It was fairly evangelical and by the end a lot of kids came to know the Lord. Heaven is being populated. Haleluajia! The theme was “army” so of course I brought afew fake guns which was surprisingly appropriate and many others had them as well. I had a fake grenade which I decided to keep in my bag though. Soo that was cool. Other then being involved with a church youth group I have been a bit detatched from people. this year has been less of a social year then I once thought in the beginning. I have focused more on my relationship with God then relationships with other students. this could partially be because a four year age gap does make a bit of a difference. I can hardly believe I will be 23 in a few weeks. That will be a tough day. Haha. Maybe Ill throw on a party hat and get a kazoo and celebrate with the sheep. Anyway the detachment may also have to do with the fact that God will remain constant in my life forever where many of these people I will be saying goodbye to in a month. I hang out with the staff a lot which is sweet sweetness. There is an elderly lady, Ruth who is head housekeeping who lives on campus. We hang out enough that sometimes I go there and we just hang out in silence. Hey check out this cool verse on silence… “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own affairs and to do work with your hands” (1 thessalonians 4:11) The only thing is that she keeps her place hot like a sauna so I need to go there less dressed. Last time I secretly tried to shut off her heater when she wasn’t lookin but I got caught. Its cool cuz we do favors for each other. She loves rice Pringles so I get her a can everytime I go into town and she gives me free internet and washing machine tokens and guitar lessons and tea and pudding. Whoa sounds like she has the upper hand. And sometimes I take her dog out but the last time I brought it back wearing clothes from the craft room and shes pretty protective of it so I dunno. Anyway the point is… Ive made a few friends but not that many as I am busy discovering what my life could look like if I am flexible to listen to what God is saying. A lecturer told us “there is a YOU shaped hole in Gods kingdom. Find it and fill it.”
Last week we had a lecturer that came here from India. India is 88% Hindu and for many of his years he was a part of the religion. He came from incredible wealth and a family of much power in India. When he became a Christian his father put a gun to his head and gave him two choices: “Either I shoot you now or you leave and never return, never telling anyone where you are from.” He walked away from his family, knowing the only time he would ever hear of them is from the media. He said the only reason he was able to walk away was he had a new joy; his new identity was in Christ. He still lives in India and has been faithfully ministering to the untouchables. The second night that he was a Christian he said he awoke to the sound of about 100 people coming closer to the mud shack that he was hiding in, wanting to kill him. It was the first time he fell to his knees and worshiped God. His heart broke for the lost. In horror he realized that a man was pouring kerosene onto the mud hut to light it on fire, but before the match was lit the 100 people were running in the opposite direction. Fear drove them away. When Satish (the speaker) looked up he saw a ring of fire surrounding the mud shack, one in which the persecuters had not lit. He said his Jesus and his Master was there. He is our safety and our hiding place.
He said that the biggest curse of Christianity is that we do not know how to depend on God. We say “Jesus” and we don’t see him as a real and living and holy God and therefore people are not seeing “Christ” live through Christians. Everyday he says he wakes up and thinks, “I want to know Jesus a little more.”
I have never been so inspired. Its been a week where I lay in bed thinking about stuff too deep to think about before going to bed! The more I learn about the bible the more I realize that I don’t know. Haha but im one of those lucky ones that doesn’t need 8 hours of sleep to function. Id love to be able to function on 5 but that could take some training. Sometimes I do get tired during lecture but I surely would not want to miss anything cuz this stuff is so good. I was concentrating so much on listening and keeping my lids open the other day that I forgot about swallowing saliva so I had a good drool on the table. I didn’t know the fellow beside me that well so he just pretended not to notice. That was kind of him, yes. Last week I also did my 10 minute oral report on snowboarding and related it to pain and suffering. I had my cardboard snowboard that I strapped onto my feet before climbing onto two chairs. Yup, not too smart. Its really hard to climb onto chairs with implanted feet. I finally got up on the chairs but then was facing the wrong direction with back to audience. I was sweating so much. Also cuz I was wearing a toque and mitts for effect. I have it on tape if you ever want a chuckle. I don’t think I could bare watching it to be honest. My thought process works differently then others I think. I should probably get it checked out.
Hmm what else is new, this weekend I was one of many leaders at youth conference called HM rage. There were 400 teenagers. Whew I almost feel like one again after coming out of it (cuz im sooo much older. Haha) It was fairly evangelical and by the end a lot of kids came to know the Lord. Heaven is being populated. Haleluajia! The theme was “army” so of course I brought afew fake guns which was surprisingly appropriate and many others had them as well. I had a fake grenade which I decided to keep in my bag though. Soo that was cool. Other then being involved with a church youth group I have been a bit detatched from people. this year has been less of a social year then I once thought in the beginning. I have focused more on my relationship with God then relationships with other students. this could partially be because a four year age gap does make a bit of a difference. I can hardly believe I will be 23 in a few weeks. That will be a tough day. Haha. Maybe Ill throw on a party hat and get a kazoo and celebrate with the sheep. Anyway the detachment may also have to do with the fact that God will remain constant in my life forever where many of these people I will be saying goodbye to in a month. I hang out with the staff a lot which is sweet sweetness. There is an elderly lady, Ruth who is head housekeeping who lives on campus. We hang out enough that sometimes I go there and we just hang out in silence. Hey check out this cool verse on silence… “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own affairs and to do work with your hands” (1 thessalonians 4:11) The only thing is that she keeps her place hot like a sauna so I need to go there less dressed. Last time I secretly tried to shut off her heater when she wasn’t lookin but I got caught. Its cool cuz we do favors for each other. She loves rice Pringles so I get her a can everytime I go into town and she gives me free internet and washing machine tokens and guitar lessons and tea and pudding. Whoa sounds like she has the upper hand. And sometimes I take her dog out but the last time I brought it back wearing clothes from the craft room and shes pretty protective of it so I dunno. Anyway the point is… Ive made a few friends but not that many as I am busy discovering what my life could look like if I am flexible to listen to what God is saying. A lecturer told us “there is a YOU shaped hole in Gods kingdom. Find it and fill it.”
Friday, May 22, 2009
why hello
much to say. Its getting cold here. brr. I need to purchase some sheep skin. getting out of my bunk bed is tough in the morning as our rooms are barely heated. Capernwray is very cost efficient with heat and milk portions. With much to say you wouldnt think that I would talk about the weather! oh my- im shivering as I write this and just sneezed all over my computer monitor. yuck. I dropped my lap top on cement and the screen broke so now I have this giant monitor that I found in the attic. By no means is it cold enough to have to plug in the old car but we have to let it run a while these days. Good thing it has a choke. On two week break me and Naomi were on the beach and I found a rotton fish. I thought it would be funny to put it on the windshield behind the wipers. Not funny nor intelligent. SOmetimes i forget to use a thought process and I do anything for a good laugh. When we put the vents on to defrost, we got the aroma of fish. It got worse and worse. haha. but we sure did laugh. I wish you could all meet this girl. She is such a peach and we have so much fun. She keeps me young. She is one of the younger ones here and I one of the older ones but youd never know. I am not looking forward to turning 23 out here in June! I feel silly being that old and I think I will run out of the room if people sing happy birthday. I dont think they will though as I will not being telling anyone. Hard to imagine that in six weeks I will be saying goodbye to all these people. For those of you who dont know... I will be homeless for about a week in new zealand after schools out and then go to Australia for a missions trip. But its not the ritzy australia. its the outback or the dessert of austrailia where many Aborigionals live and have not had the Gospel brought to them. The team will be sleeping under the stars, no tents, often no running water or electricity. Just us, the aborigionals and hopefully God working through us. I have been praying alot about the decision to go and its been a tough one. I do nto want the concept of how I FEEL determine my ministery. So often I try to live my life according to what I want and according to my desires. But if Christ truly dwells in me then I should be able to see him in EVERY area of my life and do everything to glorify his name. today we learnt in lecture that "A strong indication of christian maturity is the relaxed willingness to trust in the lord, to peacfully wait, and be good natured in the process." whew. sorry this is getting a bit heavy, its just whats been on my heart. God will provide answers. I just need to wait. I have been mediating on 1 Thessalonians 4:11... Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own buisness and to work with your hands... I need to learn to just be still and know that He is God. Capernwray has also now offered me an internship to work here alongside the staff for a year... just another thing to think about but it does not look like that is what I will be choosing. life brings soo many choices my mind sometimes aches.
hmmm... what else is new. On Tuesday (monday for you) I will be doing a 10 min speech on the topic of my choice. I chose to talk about Pain and Suffering and relate it to snowboarding all the while making it Christ centered. complicated. I made a cardboard snowboard which i will strap to my feet and stand on a chair. I will teach a little land snowboarding 101 and then talk about ways to fall on a snowboard. All snowboarders must endure some pain before getting good at the sport. Sometimes God uses pain and suffering to bring us closer to him. Suffering is not by itself good. What is good is the sufferer’s submission to God’s will. I think I have learnt a bit about this in the last year. Very cool stuff. I hope I do not fall off the chair. I think I will wear mittens and a helmet too. for effect of course. anyway, i best go here its 230 a.m for me and Im chopping firewood tomorrow at 830. I do like to busyness, something I need to be concious of and make sure there is balance. Im like my own pysciatrist.
much to say. Its getting cold here. brr. I need to purchase some sheep skin. getting out of my bunk bed is tough in the morning as our rooms are barely heated. Capernwray is very cost efficient with heat and milk portions. With much to say you wouldnt think that I would talk about the weather! oh my- im shivering as I write this and just sneezed all over my computer monitor. yuck. I dropped my lap top on cement and the screen broke so now I have this giant monitor that I found in the attic. By no means is it cold enough to have to plug in the old car but we have to let it run a while these days. Good thing it has a choke. On two week break me and Naomi were on the beach and I found a rotton fish. I thought it would be funny to put it on the windshield behind the wipers. Not funny nor intelligent. SOmetimes i forget to use a thought process and I do anything for a good laugh. When we put the vents on to defrost, we got the aroma of fish. It got worse and worse. haha. but we sure did laugh. I wish you could all meet this girl. She is such a peach and we have so much fun. She keeps me young. She is one of the younger ones here and I one of the older ones but youd never know. I am not looking forward to turning 23 out here in June! I feel silly being that old and I think I will run out of the room if people sing happy birthday. I dont think they will though as I will not being telling anyone. Hard to imagine that in six weeks I will be saying goodbye to all these people. For those of you who dont know... I will be homeless for about a week in new zealand after schools out and then go to Australia for a missions trip. But its not the ritzy australia. its the outback or the dessert of austrailia where many Aborigionals live and have not had the Gospel brought to them. The team will be sleeping under the stars, no tents, often no running water or electricity. Just us, the aborigionals and hopefully God working through us. I have been praying alot about the decision to go and its been a tough one. I do nto want the concept of how I FEEL determine my ministery. So often I try to live my life according to what I want and according to my desires. But if Christ truly dwells in me then I should be able to see him in EVERY area of my life and do everything to glorify his name. today we learnt in lecture that "A strong indication of christian maturity is the relaxed willingness to trust in the lord, to peacfully wait, and be good natured in the process." whew. sorry this is getting a bit heavy, its just whats been on my heart. God will provide answers. I just need to wait. I have been mediating on 1 Thessalonians 4:11... Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own buisness and to work with your hands... I need to learn to just be still and know that He is God. Capernwray has also now offered me an internship to work here alongside the staff for a year... just another thing to think about but it does not look like that is what I will be choosing. life brings soo many choices my mind sometimes aches.
hmmm... what else is new. On Tuesday (monday for you) I will be doing a 10 min speech on the topic of my choice. I chose to talk about Pain and Suffering and relate it to snowboarding all the while making it Christ centered. complicated. I made a cardboard snowboard which i will strap to my feet and stand on a chair. I will teach a little land snowboarding 101 and then talk about ways to fall on a snowboard. All snowboarders must endure some pain before getting good at the sport. Sometimes God uses pain and suffering to bring us closer to him. Suffering is not by itself good. What is good is the sufferer’s submission to God’s will. I think I have learnt a bit about this in the last year. Very cool stuff. I hope I do not fall off the chair. I think I will wear mittens and a helmet too. for effect of course. anyway, i best go here its 230 a.m for me and Im chopping firewood tomorrow at 830. I do like to busyness, something I need to be concious of and make sure there is balance. Im like my own pysciatrist.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I am back to dry eyes with no tears. Sometimes a good cry is just necessary! Unfortunately my health took a small toll and I had some blood tests done. Nothing too serious just very low iron levels which was causing fatigue. Fatigue kills. The other day after lecture I collapsed into bed. SO tired. My little asian friend, won whos still learning English came in to say she would love a ride to the bank. I told her I needed to rest for 20 min. Of course with the language barrier she came back in about 5 and said, “ok Im ready to go.” Haha so I told her to crawl into my bed and just let me rest my lids for a few moments. She crawls in and in honestly 15 seconds says, “how about now?” I pulled myself out of bed but apparently my speech seemed a little slurred ( I don’t believe it was that bad, but I wont argue) so I got a ride into town where I re-amped with some iron pills. Im a bit of a pill popper so I wanted to take a few extra the first day…but then a friend compensated them. At first I thought I could beat this low iron thing by eating more red meat but I would probably of had to kill a cow to get the levels normal. Other then that, and a bicycle accident a while back I have been healthy. Never try to take a phone out of your jean pocket while biking free hand in a construction zone. A few teenagers saw my wipe out and laughed as I tried to compose myself. I thought I would never have to see them, but nope, they attend the youth group I volunteer at on Wednesdays. Despite the awkwardness of seeing those kids, that I have really fallen in love with this youth group. There is a huge need for young people to get involved in churches and be a mentor to teens. I have the privilege of meeting with 6 girls after youth group to pray together and have a short devo. Did you know If every believer chose one person to mentor, disciple to and lead to Christ each year did you know that the worlds population could be Christ followers in 24 years. Each person that was disciple would have to disciple someone else and so on and so on. ONE person a year! That surely is not impossible but rather a challenge to us all.
Im learning that I cannot grow spiritually without prayer. 1 Thesssalonians 5:12 says, “Be joyful always, praying continually without ceasing.” I do not think that this means that we have to be on our knees in prayer all day but rather have God working through us and be completely aware of his presence.
Im learning that I cannot grow spiritually without prayer. 1 Thesssalonians 5:12 says, “Be joyful always, praying continually without ceasing.” I do not think that this means that we have to be on our knees in prayer all day but rather have God working through us and be completely aware of his presence.
The definition of prayer is actually ``a conversation with God. Gods voice is like the voice of conscience. Only richer and more positive. The bible says that the voice of God informs, instructs, encourages and guides. Too often I am guilty of separating my spiritual life from other areas of my life. If my life was like a TV dinner I would have the potatoes which would be like my family and friends, the meat which could be career and studies and then veggies which is my spiritual life. Its all separate! But should it be. Shouldn’t it be more like a casserole… with my faith being mixed into all areas of my life. Ive got a lot more learning to do. Maybe I should just spend the rest of this semester at the poolside. I wish I could learn at a faster rate sometimes. Its slow going. Well Im sorry I haven’t told you more about the activites of my life. Pretty much I am in lecture every day till one. Study till four. Have tea (which means supper) then have some evenings off. Weekends are free to travel. Yup, if you have questions or even just wanna let me know ur reading this just shoot me an email. My address here is oliviaschinkel at capernwray.org.nz (the at is the symbol, just doesn’t work on my comp). below is one of the assignments ive done. It’s a bible study that I presented. Take a little tour of it if you so desire.
“Dying to Self” –Bible Study II
John 12:20-27
Olivia Schinkel
For Johnson and Hargrave
John 12: 20-27
(20)Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. (21) They came to Philip, who was from Bethesda with a request, “sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.”(22) Phillip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus. (23) Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.” …. (27) Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”
INTRODUCTION
At a Soldiers' Cemetery in Nashville a stranger was once seen planting a flower upon a grave. When asked if some relative was buried there, he replied: "No; when the war broke out, I was too poor to enlist, as I had a wife and seven children to support. I was drafted, but had no money to hire a substitute, and made up my mind to go. After I was all ready to start, a young man came to me." "You have a large family," he said, "which your wife cannot take care of. I will go for you." "He did go in my place, and at battle he was wounded and taken to Nashville, where he died. Ever since I have wished to come and see his grave. So I have saved up all the spare money I could, and came and found my friend's grave." He then took the headboard and fixed it into the ground at the head of the grave. It bore the soldier's name, and underneath were the words, "He died for me."
This soldier died so someone else could live. Does this sound familiar? In John 12:23 Jesus uses the metaphor of a kernel of wheat to paint a picture of the purpose of his death. A kernel of wheat will not produce seeds unless it dies first. We would not have salvation had Christ not died for us.
BACKGROUND
Author: Apostle John
Date: AD 85. Some scholars have suggested an earlier dates possibly as early as AD 50
Purpose: The writer himself states that the main purpose is so that “you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name.” (20:31) His primary intention was evangelistic. (NIV study Bible, pg 1512)
* John is different from the other Gospels in that John assumes that readers know the basic facts about Jesus. Instead of facts he mulls over the profound meaning of what Jesus had said and done. I love the first chapter where John highlights Christ’s nature. There are no Christmas scenes or telling of Christ’s birth or youth. He is introduced as the Son of God and John humbly and beautifully points to Jesus as, “the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.”
TEACHING POINT 1: “We want to See Jesus!”
WORD STUDY: “See”- Ra’ah (7200) “to see, observe, perceive, get acquainted with, gain understanding, examine, look after, choose, discover. Basically ra-ah connotes seeing with ones eyes. The second primary meaning is “to perceive” or to be consciously aware of.
Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. They came to Philip, who was from Bethesda with a request, “sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” Phillip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus. Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
EXPLANATION
This passage takes place six days before Jesus was going to die. How would you feel if you knew for sure you were going to die six days from now? If you knew you were going to die this week Wednesday, from a heart attack or cancer would you not be preoccupied by it? Distracted by it?. That is what this passage is about. Jesus is thinking; he is contemplating about what lies ahead of him when suddenly he is interrupted by Andrew who tells him that two Greek men want to see him. Instead of answering them directly, he answered with, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
CREATIVE IDEA:
One person will be asked to close their eyes (probably Ruth). They will be told that something will happen to them that will probably make them startled. The person will likely become preoccupied with the thought of being startled. With eyes closed I will drop a heavy book on a table in front of her which will hopefully make her jump.
Even though Christ knew he was going to be crucified he still feared it. Verse 27 says: “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father to glorify your name.”
APPLICATION
Lets also put ourselves in the shoes of the two greek men. We are standing among people who say that Jesus, who is near by, is the messiah of Isreal. We hear and our bodies ache with longing, a possibility too good to be true. We’re hungry, we’re thirsty. We long for the bread of life that truly satisfies. To see him. To see his face. So there we are, with the Greeks and we get up enough courage, the faith to plea to see Jesus. These Greeks were begging to see Jesus. In the Greek language begging means to to ask continually, not just a one time action. Have you heard such a cry from anyone around you? There are people everywhere who want to see Jesus just as these Greeks did. They are in Cambridge and in every city and town in the world. They are in our neighbourhoods, our offices, our schools, and our homes.
DISCUSSION QUESTION/EXPLANATION OF PASSAGE Why do people want to see Jesus? (not necessarily in the literal sense)
Because they know that Jesus alone can help them. Money cannot help them. Designer jeans cannot help them. The newest technology cannot help them. Only Jesus can save them. There are Greeks in our time crying out, "We would like to meet with Jesus, the friend of sinners." They are crying to us. We are the Philips and Andrews of this world--everyday Christians, Disciples of Christ. God has given us a profound mission: As the light of the world, we have an obligation to bring these Gentiles to their Savior. John does not tell us whether Jesus met personally with these Greeks or even spoke directly to them. But the truth is, in this passage Jesus Christ addresses their very need.
QUESTION:
1. Imagine what it would be like to actually see Jesus. What would your first response be? Do you think we would live our lives differently after?
TEACHING POINT 2 Humans: Selfish. Christ: Selfless
“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
WORD STUDY: “Glorified” –kauchaomai (2744) “signifies “to boast against, exult over.” Or “rejoiceth”
APPLICATION/EXPLANATIONI was inspired when I heard David Susuki, a Canadian environmentalist speak on how unnecessary our overconsumption of meat is. To help us think about all the meat we there was a suggestion that we thank God for animals that died so that we are fed. I thought about this for a while but it seems like it would not be a popular prayer before a meal. How would you feel if I prayed for the cows that died in order that we can have hamburgers? Or the chickens that died so we can have chicken nuggets? Or whatever had to die to make hotdogs? It feels weird to realize that the food we eat had to die in order for it to enable us to live. But this isn’t just meat, ALL food has to die first. The grain is plucked from the ground, dies, is crushed, mixed and baked to make bread. The fresh fruit and vegetables we eat were all yanked off their life support and are in the process of death when we eat them. But truthfully we don’t spend too much time thinking about it. You may think about it at lunch today but by dinner it will have passed. That is because we are self-absorbed creatures. We think so much of ourselves that we hardly make room for anything else. Our culture is only attributing to this. Our modern technology tells me I am important. I am so important I need to have a personal phone that someone else calls to get a hold of me. No longer will you call a house and may get someone else, instead you call MY cell phone and I pick up or you can leave a message on MY voicemail. The social networks on the internet are even worse. We become obsessed with facebook and blogs. I’ll confess I am addicted to many of these things. I have done a blog before. I’m on Facebook. These things stroke the ego and build self esteem. That is why the words of Christ sting me when he says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Those who love their life will lose it…” A kernal of wheat has a hard, glossy husk, within which its life is contained. But if it falls into the ground then its husk softens and rots and breaks open. From inside the seed the power of its life begins to push outwards. Roots go down into the soil. A shoot comes up into the light where it grows stronger and taller and produces a single ear of corn. By harvest time there will be forty seeds where before there was only one. Next year if those forty seeds all fall on good soil they will produce sixteen hundred seeds. In the third year sixty-four thousand. In the fourth year over two and a half million. But only if that first seed falls to the ground and dies. So it is that Jesus offers bread to the whole world. He offers himself, his life, to come alive in hundreds, then thousands, then millions of others. But first he must die. And if we his followers wish to pass on his life then we too must learn the pattern of life. We will bear fruit only when we die to self. Romans 6:4 says, “we were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life. “
ILLUSTRATION
This concept is similar to that of salmon spawning. Each year salmon, every so slowly lumber along the bottom of the lake exhausted from swimming up the river. They travel literally hundreds of miles to a specific swimming hole to spawn. A salmons instinct is to be back to the place of its birth to die. So after the long laberous journey of being driven over rocks and dams and waterfalls they finally, dig a hole, lay their eggs and die. And out of those eggs comes new life. For it is only through dying that there is new life among the salmon.
DISCUSSION QUESTION:
How can we die to ourselves? Write down on the piece of paper what you would like to give up to God.
TEACHING POINT 3: The purpose of the Cross
Verse 27 says, “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father to glorify your name.”
WORD STUDY: “Troubled” Tarasso (5015) – troubled metaphorically, (a) of the soul and spirit of the Lord
EXPLANATION/APPLICATIONIn this verse Jesus is confessing that he does not really want to go through with the pain and suffering of crucifixion but in a model of selflessness, still pledges to go through with the plan. The scripture tells us that his heart was troubled. It was agony for Jesus to do the will of his Father. It was agony for Jesus to bring glory to his Father. It was agony for Jesus to draw all men to himself. But there was no other way. ”Martin Luther king once said, "No one ever feared death as much as this man." Just as Christ, Christians are not protected from pain. We have no insurance policy against agony. Sorrow can burn up a great deal of shallowness or it can lead to bitterness. It all depends on our perspective, it all depends on our motive. Jesus was not saved from the hour. He was saved for it. And so are we. We should not ask to be saved from agony, but that we glorify God through it.
ILLUSTRATIONOne of my favourite books in the Old Testament is Esther, the scene where Esther's life is at stake. She must plead for the life of her people before her husband the king. But for anyone including her to enter his presence unannounced could mean instant execution. Just as she was wavering, Mordecia reminds her,"If you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)
Just as Ester was making a choice to change the lives of the Jews, Jesus was making a decision that changed the course of history for the entire universe. Jesus entry into Jerusalem was not in anticipation of being crowned, but crucified. It was the example of supreme courage, knowing He was going, willingly, voluntarily, sacrificially to his death on our behalf. John 12:32 says, But I, when lifted up from the earth will draw all men to myself.” The phrase "lifted up" means two things. It means to be crucified, but it also carries with it the idea of glorification. The Son of God was glorified by being crucified. What was the passion of Jesus? You are the passion of Jesus. Even if you were the only person in the whole world he would still have died for you.
SUPPORTING VERSE
"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”
QUESTION:
What can we do more willingly for Christ?
CONCLUSION
This bible study has looked at the importance of seeing Christ and through “seeing’ him surrendering what we can of our sinful natures. We will never be able to completely die to ourselves because it is impossible to even be close to Christlike. Even though we are only sliver of his mighty and perfect image we can set our goals high and rely on his strength to help us. Psalm 44 says, “Create in my a clean heart O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.”
DYING TO SELF
When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take in all in patient, loving silence.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance; when you stand face-to- face with extravagance, spiritual insensibility-and endure it as Jesus endured.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any interruption by the will of God.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, when you can truly love to be unknown.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you can receive correction from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
“Dying to Self” –Bible Study II
John 12:20-27
Olivia Schinkel
For Johnson and Hargrave
John 12: 20-27
(20)Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. (21) They came to Philip, who was from Bethesda with a request, “sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.”(22) Phillip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus. (23) Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.” …. (27) Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”
INTRODUCTION
At a Soldiers' Cemetery in Nashville a stranger was once seen planting a flower upon a grave. When asked if some relative was buried there, he replied: "No; when the war broke out, I was too poor to enlist, as I had a wife and seven children to support. I was drafted, but had no money to hire a substitute, and made up my mind to go. After I was all ready to start, a young man came to me." "You have a large family," he said, "which your wife cannot take care of. I will go for you." "He did go in my place, and at battle he was wounded and taken to Nashville, where he died. Ever since I have wished to come and see his grave. So I have saved up all the spare money I could, and came and found my friend's grave." He then took the headboard and fixed it into the ground at the head of the grave. It bore the soldier's name, and underneath were the words, "He died for me."
This soldier died so someone else could live. Does this sound familiar? In John 12:23 Jesus uses the metaphor of a kernel of wheat to paint a picture of the purpose of his death. A kernel of wheat will not produce seeds unless it dies first. We would not have salvation had Christ not died for us.
BACKGROUND
Author: Apostle John
Date: AD 85. Some scholars have suggested an earlier dates possibly as early as AD 50
Purpose: The writer himself states that the main purpose is so that “you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name.” (20:31) His primary intention was evangelistic. (NIV study Bible, pg 1512)
* John is different from the other Gospels in that John assumes that readers know the basic facts about Jesus. Instead of facts he mulls over the profound meaning of what Jesus had said and done. I love the first chapter where John highlights Christ’s nature. There are no Christmas scenes or telling of Christ’s birth or youth. He is introduced as the Son of God and John humbly and beautifully points to Jesus as, “the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.”
TEACHING POINT 1: “We want to See Jesus!”
WORD STUDY: “See”- Ra’ah (7200) “to see, observe, perceive, get acquainted with, gain understanding, examine, look after, choose, discover. Basically ra-ah connotes seeing with ones eyes. The second primary meaning is “to perceive” or to be consciously aware of.
Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. They came to Philip, who was from Bethesda with a request, “sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” Phillip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus. Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
EXPLANATION
This passage takes place six days before Jesus was going to die. How would you feel if you knew for sure you were going to die six days from now? If you knew you were going to die this week Wednesday, from a heart attack or cancer would you not be preoccupied by it? Distracted by it?. That is what this passage is about. Jesus is thinking; he is contemplating about what lies ahead of him when suddenly he is interrupted by Andrew who tells him that two Greek men want to see him. Instead of answering them directly, he answered with, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
CREATIVE IDEA:
One person will be asked to close their eyes (probably Ruth). They will be told that something will happen to them that will probably make them startled. The person will likely become preoccupied with the thought of being startled. With eyes closed I will drop a heavy book on a table in front of her which will hopefully make her jump.
Even though Christ knew he was going to be crucified he still feared it. Verse 27 says: “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father to glorify your name.”
APPLICATION
Lets also put ourselves in the shoes of the two greek men. We are standing among people who say that Jesus, who is near by, is the messiah of Isreal. We hear and our bodies ache with longing, a possibility too good to be true. We’re hungry, we’re thirsty. We long for the bread of life that truly satisfies. To see him. To see his face. So there we are, with the Greeks and we get up enough courage, the faith to plea to see Jesus. These Greeks were begging to see Jesus. In the Greek language begging means to to ask continually, not just a one time action. Have you heard such a cry from anyone around you? There are people everywhere who want to see Jesus just as these Greeks did. They are in Cambridge and in every city and town in the world. They are in our neighbourhoods, our offices, our schools, and our homes.
DISCUSSION QUESTION/EXPLANATION OF PASSAGE Why do people want to see Jesus? (not necessarily in the literal sense)
Because they know that Jesus alone can help them. Money cannot help them. Designer jeans cannot help them. The newest technology cannot help them. Only Jesus can save them. There are Greeks in our time crying out, "We would like to meet with Jesus, the friend of sinners." They are crying to us. We are the Philips and Andrews of this world--everyday Christians, Disciples of Christ. God has given us a profound mission: As the light of the world, we have an obligation to bring these Gentiles to their Savior. John does not tell us whether Jesus met personally with these Greeks or even spoke directly to them. But the truth is, in this passage Jesus Christ addresses their very need.
QUESTION:
1. Imagine what it would be like to actually see Jesus. What would your first response be? Do you think we would live our lives differently after?
TEACHING POINT 2 Humans: Selfish. Christ: Selfless
“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds.”
WORD STUDY: “Glorified” –kauchaomai (2744) “signifies “to boast against, exult over.” Or “rejoiceth”
APPLICATION/EXPLANATIONI was inspired when I heard David Susuki, a Canadian environmentalist speak on how unnecessary our overconsumption of meat is. To help us think about all the meat we there was a suggestion that we thank God for animals that died so that we are fed. I thought about this for a while but it seems like it would not be a popular prayer before a meal. How would you feel if I prayed for the cows that died in order that we can have hamburgers? Or the chickens that died so we can have chicken nuggets? Or whatever had to die to make hotdogs? It feels weird to realize that the food we eat had to die in order for it to enable us to live. But this isn’t just meat, ALL food has to die first. The grain is plucked from the ground, dies, is crushed, mixed and baked to make bread. The fresh fruit and vegetables we eat were all yanked off their life support and are in the process of death when we eat them. But truthfully we don’t spend too much time thinking about it. You may think about it at lunch today but by dinner it will have passed. That is because we are self-absorbed creatures. We think so much of ourselves that we hardly make room for anything else. Our culture is only attributing to this. Our modern technology tells me I am important. I am so important I need to have a personal phone that someone else calls to get a hold of me. No longer will you call a house and may get someone else, instead you call MY cell phone and I pick up or you can leave a message on MY voicemail. The social networks on the internet are even worse. We become obsessed with facebook and blogs. I’ll confess I am addicted to many of these things. I have done a blog before. I’m on Facebook. These things stroke the ego and build self esteem. That is why the words of Christ sting me when he says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Those who love their life will lose it…” A kernal of wheat has a hard, glossy husk, within which its life is contained. But if it falls into the ground then its husk softens and rots and breaks open. From inside the seed the power of its life begins to push outwards. Roots go down into the soil. A shoot comes up into the light where it grows stronger and taller and produces a single ear of corn. By harvest time there will be forty seeds where before there was only one. Next year if those forty seeds all fall on good soil they will produce sixteen hundred seeds. In the third year sixty-four thousand. In the fourth year over two and a half million. But only if that first seed falls to the ground and dies. So it is that Jesus offers bread to the whole world. He offers himself, his life, to come alive in hundreds, then thousands, then millions of others. But first he must die. And if we his followers wish to pass on his life then we too must learn the pattern of life. We will bear fruit only when we die to self. Romans 6:4 says, “we were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life. “
ILLUSTRATION
This concept is similar to that of salmon spawning. Each year salmon, every so slowly lumber along the bottom of the lake exhausted from swimming up the river. They travel literally hundreds of miles to a specific swimming hole to spawn. A salmons instinct is to be back to the place of its birth to die. So after the long laberous journey of being driven over rocks and dams and waterfalls they finally, dig a hole, lay their eggs and die. And out of those eggs comes new life. For it is only through dying that there is new life among the salmon.
DISCUSSION QUESTION:
How can we die to ourselves? Write down on the piece of paper what you would like to give up to God.
TEACHING POINT 3: The purpose of the Cross
Verse 27 says, “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father to glorify your name.”
WORD STUDY: “Troubled” Tarasso (5015) – troubled metaphorically, (a) of the soul and spirit of the Lord
EXPLANATION/APPLICATIONIn this verse Jesus is confessing that he does not really want to go through with the pain and suffering of crucifixion but in a model of selflessness, still pledges to go through with the plan. The scripture tells us that his heart was troubled. It was agony for Jesus to do the will of his Father. It was agony for Jesus to bring glory to his Father. It was agony for Jesus to draw all men to himself. But there was no other way. ”Martin Luther king once said, "No one ever feared death as much as this man." Just as Christ, Christians are not protected from pain. We have no insurance policy against agony. Sorrow can burn up a great deal of shallowness or it can lead to bitterness. It all depends on our perspective, it all depends on our motive. Jesus was not saved from the hour. He was saved for it. And so are we. We should not ask to be saved from agony, but that we glorify God through it.
ILLUSTRATIONOne of my favourite books in the Old Testament is Esther, the scene where Esther's life is at stake. She must plead for the life of her people before her husband the king. But for anyone including her to enter his presence unannounced could mean instant execution. Just as she was wavering, Mordecia reminds her,"If you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)
Just as Ester was making a choice to change the lives of the Jews, Jesus was making a decision that changed the course of history for the entire universe. Jesus entry into Jerusalem was not in anticipation of being crowned, but crucified. It was the example of supreme courage, knowing He was going, willingly, voluntarily, sacrificially to his death on our behalf. John 12:32 says, But I, when lifted up from the earth will draw all men to myself.” The phrase "lifted up" means two things. It means to be crucified, but it also carries with it the idea of glorification. The Son of God was glorified by being crucified. What was the passion of Jesus? You are the passion of Jesus. Even if you were the only person in the whole world he would still have died for you.
SUPPORTING VERSE
"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”
QUESTION:
What can we do more willingly for Christ?
CONCLUSION
This bible study has looked at the importance of seeing Christ and through “seeing’ him surrendering what we can of our sinful natures. We will never be able to completely die to ourselves because it is impossible to even be close to Christlike. Even though we are only sliver of his mighty and perfect image we can set our goals high and rely on his strength to help us. Psalm 44 says, “Create in my a clean heart O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.”
DYING TO SELF
When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take in all in patient, loving silence.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance; when you stand face-to- face with extravagance, spiritual insensibility-and endure it as Jesus endured.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any interruption by the will of God.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, when you can truly love to be unknown.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
When you can receive correction from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart.
THAT IS DYING TO SELF
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I was debating about writing this on here as I prefer to be positive but today I had a few tears. Today I would love to be home just for a little while to be with people I know well and that know me well. Someone that knows that I never wear the same color socks or someone that can recognize Im having a bad day without asking. This place is fantastic in so many ways but I just feel exhausted from the process of getting to know people. I have probably been trying too hard to do activities outside of capernwray. For example today I sang at an old folds home with the paster and his wife and another from church. We call ourselves the Cambridge quartet. We should almost be called the Cambridge triplets because I lipsing a lot of the lyrics once the notes get too high for me. I have a terrible voice but I try to compensate with more smile and I even threw in a few dance moves and a bit of snapping today. I had brought a bag of aples with me to give to the old people but when I tried to give them away everyone turned them away because their false teeth wont allow. That’s the last time I try to do something nice. haha
Anyway ill backtrack a little as I only told you about half of my two week break. After the blind camp I went to the coramandle which is an area of uttermost beauty. Part of the Narnia movie was filmed there. I don’t really know how to describe it other then when I saw it all I could think was “wow God.” He must have had so much fun creating new zealand. Afterwards I worked at a kids bible camp for two nights. I told the owner that he could put me to work for two days for free room and board. So my first job consisted of picking up fijoa skins that had already been chewed and spat out by the children. Yuck. (fijoa is a fruit that’s maybe a mix between passion fruit and kiwi but slimy) I made the most of it and tried to communicate with some of the kids while doing it but I could tell some of them were thinking “why would she want to come here to do that?” In the end i had a really good time. One night we had a dance and I borrowed a pretty yellow dress from one of the girls and danced the night away. It was so awesome to see that some of the kids came to Christ by the end. (of camp, not of the dance party) I feel so priveledged to be a believer and to freely be able to worship God however and whenever I want. We ahd missionaries come to our school and tell us about the persecution still happening to Christians around the world. The missionaries were bible translaters; a field of missionary work I often forget exits. There are 6991 languages in the world and there are 3000 that still do not have the gospel in their language. Makes me feel uneasy inside. There is so much work to be done in this world. We are blessed to not only have the bible at our fingertips but hundreds of theology books, sermons, DVDs and other Christian resources. I don’t know how to close this after a bit of a heavy ending but I must. The stars are out and that’s exciting after much rain so Im gonna dash.
Love Ollie
A few more NZ vs Canada differences
- so so many boys here grow rat tails. I have yet to figure out if it’s a joke or if they feel its attractive. I try not to sit behind them in church as it distracts me greatly. (and not because I think its attractive)
- hmm cant think of any more
cool video. not to do with my trip. http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=139f9c4c0036b123ee12
Anyway ill backtrack a little as I only told you about half of my two week break. After the blind camp I went to the coramandle which is an area of uttermost beauty. Part of the Narnia movie was filmed there. I don’t really know how to describe it other then when I saw it all I could think was “wow God.” He must have had so much fun creating new zealand. Afterwards I worked at a kids bible camp for two nights. I told the owner that he could put me to work for two days for free room and board. So my first job consisted of picking up fijoa skins that had already been chewed and spat out by the children. Yuck. (fijoa is a fruit that’s maybe a mix between passion fruit and kiwi but slimy) I made the most of it and tried to communicate with some of the kids while doing it but I could tell some of them were thinking “why would she want to come here to do that?” In the end i had a really good time. One night we had a dance and I borrowed a pretty yellow dress from one of the girls and danced the night away. It was so awesome to see that some of the kids came to Christ by the end. (of camp, not of the dance party) I feel so priveledged to be a believer and to freely be able to worship God however and whenever I want. We ahd missionaries come to our school and tell us about the persecution still happening to Christians around the world. The missionaries were bible translaters; a field of missionary work I often forget exits. There are 6991 languages in the world and there are 3000 that still do not have the gospel in their language. Makes me feel uneasy inside. There is so much work to be done in this world. We are blessed to not only have the bible at our fingertips but hundreds of theology books, sermons, DVDs and other Christian resources. I don’t know how to close this after a bit of a heavy ending but I must. The stars are out and that’s exciting after much rain so Im gonna dash.
Love Ollie
A few more NZ vs Canada differences
- so so many boys here grow rat tails. I have yet to figure out if it’s a joke or if they feel its attractive. I try not to sit behind them in church as it distracts me greatly. (and not because I think its attractive)
- hmm cant think of any more
cool video. not to do with my trip. http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=139f9c4c0036b123ee12
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